JannahReduan | The 'Periodic' Stories

Hold on tight.

2012-01-30T00:33:00.000+08:00

As I sat down listening to Ustaz Azhar Idrus speech at the mosque after perfoming maghrib prayer,I tilted myself leaning against the wall.suddenly,a sister came and sat down on the floor right in front me.She was a bit late to perform a congregational prayer so she prayed by her own.I looked up to her.she was my senior during high school.she was one of the best students in my school during the past.I was watching her performing the prayer.she was really beautiful.seriously I tell you.I stared at her face.she kept on closed and opened her eyelids trying to khusyu'.she didnt looked at people.her head downcast while listening to the speech.she got a puffy eyes.do you know what I felt as I looked at her? I was amazed by her ways.theres something at her that urge me to change.she covered her aurah completely.she was wearing socks.thats was the thing that I hardly do.kejap on.kejap off.*sigh.

I even had the thought of not going anywhere.I just want to stay in the mosque all the time and get closed to Him.but I realized that Im not supposed to be that way.studying architecture is also part of my ibadah.it is also one of the ways for me to contribute something to society and to gain rewards from Him.
Actually,Im always try to be good.to be a better muslim.but sometimes I broke my words.
but Im not going to give up.

shaiitan always be there to lead astray.
so be firm.hold on tight to the rope of Allah .think about death..think about paradise.
you shall succeed.InshaAllah.

Bolt and Nut.

2012-01-27T04:13:00.000+08:00

When people ask me, will you prefer to have a guy to actually stand against you,confront and confess to you that he likes you or it comes in this way 'when a guy suppress his feelings towards you and he cares about you behind your back?'

But before giving the answer,I'd like to describe the reasons of these two kind of men for being these such ways.

Well,for the first one,he is actually a brave person.he is matured?as long as he knows what he wants.I mean what he really wants for his future.he is a gentleman..=)
and for the second one,he is actually has no guts to tell to the person he admires.perhaps he is concern his own status compared to the girl.he might think that the girl only deserve for the prince charming rather than himself.thinking maybe he's not handsome.not rich.not religious enough,not brilliant enough and whatsoever.secondly,probably he has lots of works and responsibilities to carry and averting the person he admires in getting trouble into his.thirdly,he is actually worried if something happened that can torn him and the girl apart.or in other word,serik.and all these reasons are sufficient to lead him driven back to the cell where he can just see you from inside.

as to my answer,I think both are okay.It depends on the person what kind of ways they'd prefer.but if you ask me to choose one,I'd rather choose a guy to suppress his feelings towards me and at the same time he cares about me without me knowing this.(to be frank,Im yearning to know.shit.I lied.)

do you know why I prefer the latter one? This is because I wouldnt know what he is thinking about me where in fact everyone knows he is talking about me excluded me and I'll never have that confirmation until I have him in his arms.It is like he is giving signs that he is always be with me 24 hours a day seven days a week yet realizing the fact that he is actually absent in reality.lol.This kind of guy is actually used to discreetly concern about me most of the times but maybe one fine day he tends to give up to care about me and I will never be in his part of his life anymore and Im glad that I dont know this.This is because I cant say that he is still cares about me or not due to having no ideas for me to utter and I wont be shattered,whining,weeping or whatever bad feelings that will broach as I realize that he is no longer cares about me.

Unlike a guy who confess to me and shows all his concern most of the times but when he is not there or no longer for me,I'd probably prone to feel the void inside me.It always hurts more to have and to lose rather than not to have in the first place.To my sorrow,I am tasting the bile by my own.solitary.I hate to feel that kind of feeling.who does?is that a blissful feeling supposed to have?

All in all,I came to realize that I have actually nothing to lose.He is the Master planner for His creations.He knows what is the best for His creations so keep holding on faith.Relinquish everything to Him.love Him with all your heart and surely He will loves you back with no dissapointment.Allah will take care of everything. =)

Unwavering emotion.

2012-01-25T16:40:00.000+08:00

A shot of lump exists in my throat.My heart begin to heave.Tears trickle down.

Only He knows best.

Don't be a sampah masyarakat.

2012-01-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

I totally dislike people to litter around.A surge of giving them pelempang pun ada jugak (bagi sikit hiperbola).I cant stand to notice them throwing any rubbish,trashes anywhere they like.Im glad that Im not one of them.I used to throw it into the dustbin.If I eat sweets in a class,I will put the wrapper inside my bag and throw it into a litter-bin whenever I found them or I will wait til I reach my mahallah.I wont let it scatters which is not at its place.
There was one day when I steered on a highway road,there was a car in front of me and suddenly a piece of plastic came out from the window.A wrapper of something probably.oh mann...come on.I am pretty sure that you are civilized enough to aware this sort of thing.*sigh.
There was another evidence when I saw a woman who was preoccupied in tearing the plastic wrapper over the chocolate where she bought from one of the shops,and guess what? My jaw opened up widely (okay,hiperbola lagi) as I saw she deliberately dropped the wrapper on the floor! hey! cant you see the dustbin is just three to four paces ahead from you?!
Today,I saw a little girl eating with her mom.They were sitting against each other in a restaurant.As I passed by,the girl suddenly tossed the tissue right in front of me.I stared at her and looked up to her mom but probably she didnt notice me staring at her.and the saddest part was when her mom said nothing to her daughter for her misconduct.You are a mother.So please take care of your child.Scrutinize at every single thing of their action and teach them on how to be a good people.to be a good khalifah.Thats your role.
Children should be thought from the early phase of age so that they wont deviate from what they suppose to be.You cannot expected your child knows everything right.They need guidance.

Family upbringing is the primary source in generating children whether he or she is going to be good for you or not.Well,parents sometimes are spoilt.sorry to say.Im not referring to every parents but some of them.Recently,I went out with my mom.The traffic light showed immensely red.The cars halted.As I adjusted my eyes to the left,I saw a father was smoking leisurely.He was laying his right hand outside of the window with a roll of shredded tobacco in thin paper at his fingertips.It was a cigarrete to be exact.His children was standing on the seat adjacent to him.Based on her figure outlook,she looked like she was just only two to three year-old.I felt touched when I saw her dad was smoking letting his daughter to actually inhale the 'thing' that was being discharged from his mouth.alahai..dah la budak tu comel.sadis betul.and to smokers,if you really want to smoke, go ahead but dont let other people to suffer because of you.Its a sin.

Tahniah!

2012-01-18T13:25:00.000+08:00

As I opened up my facebook,scrolling down the page,checking for the notifications,messages,friend requests,and the events,my eyes were suddenly darted to this ones event.The event is really captured my attention the most.Do you know what is the event that is going to be held soon? Its my friend's wedding ceremony! again.I have a few friends who already have their own child.wow.
Why everybody is going to get married? lol.biar la diaorang nak kahwin.sibuk kenapa? haha.
anyways,tahniah to Muhamad Sharifuz Zulhilmi Kamarudin and his future wife Nur Amalina Haris.senyap-senyap korang naa..haha.
May Allah bless you guys! *wink2

.

2012-01-15T03:25:00.000+08:00

Holiday can require no more brain.and I dislike this to be imminent.

I just want to be with my storybooks right now.
nothing else to demand.
nothing.

Resolution.

2012-01-12T13:59:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah,
Andai masanya belum tiba,
Jangan izinkan aku untuk jatuh cinta,
Aku memohon agar Kau tunjukkan jalan,
Agar Kau tunjukkan aku tuntutun yang perlu aku lakukan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada kemaksiatan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada perkara yang tidak dapat memberi manfaat,
Dan jauhkan aku daripada perkara yang Engkau murkai,
Agar aku dapat menjaga diri.

Ya Allah,
Jika aku jatuh cinta,
Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu,
Jadikanlah aku yang mencintainya kerana agama yang ada padanya,
Jika dia hilangkan agama yang ada dalam dirinya,
Maka hilanglah cintaku padanya,
Sesungguhnya, cinta yang suci itu tidak buta.

Ya Allah,
Dan jika dia mencintai aku,
Biarkanlah dia mencintai aku kerana agama itu juga,
Asalkan dia tidak lebihkan cinta kepadaku melebihi cinta kepadaMu,
Supaya cinta itu bersemi di lembayung keredhaan-Mu,
Kerna dari situ lahirlah rahmah dan mawaddah dalam rumahtangga.

Ya Allah,
Jika ini bukan masanya,
Jika ini belum saatnya,
Dan jika Kau tahu kami belum bersedia,
Selamatkan kami,
Jarakkan kami,
Pisahkan kami,
Agar kami jauh dari khilaf yang merosak izzah dan iffah,
Agar kami tak mengundang murka-MU,
Agar kami dapat lebih menjaga hati,
Agar hati menjadi yang diredhai ilahi.

Ya Allah,
Andai dia bukan untuk ku,
Andai dia bukan jodohku,
Maka berilah ganti yang lebih baik buatnya,
Berikanlah dia insan yang benar benar terbaik buat kehidupannya,
Insan yang benar-benar mampu memimpinnya ke syurga-Mu,
Dan bantulah aku untuk memperbaiki diriku,
Agar aku kukuh dalam mencari cinta-Mu.

Ameen.. =')

-iluvislam.

Pacify.

2012-01-10T23:07:00.002+08:00

Semalam petang.

Jannah : Salaam.mama.abah.kakak mintak maaf.doakan kakak boleh jawab exam esok.

sent to abah and mama.

message from abah.

'Wslm.okay.InsyaAllah. abah and mama doakan awak selalu.Rajin-rajin usaha okay kakak.Salaam.'
I replied;
Okay.thank you abah.

message from mama pulak.

'Okay mama doakan awak and sentiasa doakan awak.Good luck.'
I replied;
'Okay.Thank you mama.risau pulak paper kali ni'
Mama replied;
'Okay.Baca Surah Asy-Syarh banyak-banyak moga diberi ketenangan.Relax beb.'
I replied;
'HAHA.yelah mama. ;p thank you.'

Believe.

2012-01-06T21:04:00.001+08:00

Our nature does not allow us to live in tranquility in this world.
We are created to long that is for something eternal.That is for something last forever.This is not our true home.
There is no use for searching contentment followed by desire here.
catch hands and pray to Him.Obey Him.be tawaduk.make changes to something good..and tawakal.

The Most Merciful.

2012-01-06T20:15:00.000+08:00

seronoknya bercinta dengan Allah. =')

Counting days.

2012-01-05T15:06:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah. As for now, I have one more paper to go and the gap for the last paper is quite distant compared to the other four papers that have been answered and the 'azab' moment I faced when I got two papers to be answered in the same day.gilo betul and I dont know how many times I cried but Im grateful to Allah SWT for giving me strength throughout the examination days.Well,there are soo many things in my head right now whilst waiting for holidays to come! even it is only a month,not even a month.its nearly a month to be reckoned but I'll make sure that I'll fullfil this break to the fullest!
I cant wait to meet my old friends! Lau Siew Wei,Shahrul Bariah,Al-amin for sure since I havent meet them for 8 to 10 years and three of them were from three different schools.Plus,I cant wait to hangout with my ex-schoolmates and friends from different places.I cant wait for shopping-spree! freely.I want to have a regular exercises morning/evening and rectify my eating disorder during the semester on going recently.tomatoes,juices and oat were like my basic food during my last semestre break where I only ate a plate of rice in a day.I cant wait to read storybooks for bedtime stories and aid myself to grab a vast knowledge regarding architecture and religious knowledge.oh and I cant wait for bowling game too.lol.

beringat sikit Jannah.you got one more paper to go.study betul-betul untuk yang last ni.ameen.

Belajar.

2011-12-24T19:04:00.000+08:00

I got what I wanted.Shopping is my remedy for all matters.I should focus on my theory subjects now.cannot play play dah.bismillah...

I could feel the battle.lol.

2011-12-24T10:06:00.001+08:00

Nak main bowling.Wait for me.Tunggu you bola.Bagi I habis exam dulu..2 ketul bola bowling berhabuk dalam store.

The moment..

2011-12-23T21:31:00.014+08:00

Alhamdulillah.Alhamdulillah.Alhamdulillah.finally this final project has come to an end.but before scrolling down the pictures,Im just gonna tell you guys that I spent most of the semester to complete the coursework.in designing particularly.

I sit and did my work.I ate and back to the place where I did my work.I woke up and quickly prepared myself to execute my work until I felt like I had no life.I was suffocating.forcing myself trying to finish up my work.I even manage to cut off my weight up to 5kg due to skipping breakfast, lunch,dinner and etc.

Architecture isnt an easy course I tell you.seriously.tak tipu.siapa tak minat jangan sesekali pejam mata sebelah 'click architecture' wahai junior-junior di luar sana.It is very hard.A very very very tough and tiring moment which I guess this is the most challenging thing I'd faced by far.Yes.I cried.I laughed.I played.I learnt and those things lead me to actually know better about life as a student as well as a normal human being.I know,theres lots of things to be faced years ahead and sometimes Im worried about it.But Im trying not to worry soo much.Dia ada dengan kita.

Well,exam pun dah dekat.kena pulun pulak subjek-subjek teori.pray for me supaya berjaya dengan cemerlangnya. =)

model sebelum bumbung disiapkan.

I did my work at home.

I used this as my tracing table.lol.

During the presentation day.some of them were still struggling to touch up their presentation boards.

Venue: Kaed Gallery

Aimi and Madihah.muka mengantuk.

my A0 boards.

Strain.

2011-12-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

Kerahkan seluruh tenaga untuk hari Sabtu dan Ahad.

It is just a papercut.Dont worry.I would be okay.

2011-12-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

I switched off my phone with the intention for not to know about you and say that I miss you.

One step closer.

2011-12-06T15:18:00.008+08:00

‎"the best month of fasting after ramadhan is the month of Allah - muharram" (sahih muslim)

Im fasting today yet feel exhausted.My stomach is crunching,barking for food and at the same time indicates for gastric to introduce over again but Im trying to wait until maghrib ahdzan.As I reached home after UNGS class,I took a nap right after performed a zuhur prayer and woke up at 3 pm.
I checked my phone.The feeling of wanting to text him was suddenly broached.Deep in my heart,I am really missing him but I just cant tell this to him.not too much.I know my limit.I even sometimes been wanting him to be always with me...I dont know how to put it in words but marriage is the best way to overcome this.but not to talk about marriage.its too early to discuss.what I can do is just need to sabr.pray together with the effort and relinquish everything to Him.Seriously,its hard for me to believe that I am reaching until this stage.I mean to open my heart for the one.for eternity as its hard for me to accept someone even for having a boyfriend.

You know when the first time I saw you in tuition class.It was 5 years back but I didnt have the opportunity to talk to you and later I quitted because I went to the other tuition classes.From that particular moment,I started to let everything went away and Im glad to meet you now.but I just have to be brave to face for any circumstances that might come later.

I have to be brave.yea.be brave..

Im planning to go out for a leisurely walk after asar prayer.let the mind feels free.

feel you.

2011-12-03T21:18:00.002+08:00

A series of words hit me which makes me ponder too much.My heart shattered as she said that to me.Its not because the way she told me but that significant of words which really gives a huge impact in my life.

Yes.I couldnt foresee what is going to be happened next and thats makes me worried.

I didnt ask to meet you now.but you came.and now Im afraid of losing you.

Muhasabah.

2011-11-19T07:56:00.001+08:00

Always attach to Allah.

Bizarre.

2011-11-14T07:41:00.003+08:00

at hafsa lounge last night.

studying.revision.for mid term.

A foreigner.I think she was skyping with her pals.lama tak jumpa agaknya.her voice macam 3 km pun still boleh dengar rasanya.(agak-agakla.haha)

everybody in the lounge felt distracted but at the same time wanted to laugh.

but lama-lama tensi jugak.

I stood up and came to her.

me: erm.sis.can you please slow down your voice?

she : what? oh.they cant hear me.so I have to speak louder. (continue her conversation with her pals)

me: *speechless. oh. okay.

cant help.

.

2011-11-11T21:58:00.002+08:00

Know what? when you keep yourself in your room for days until you forgot to have baths,eat late because youre doing works,studying and thinking of your works and at one point you'll feel like..I dont know how to express by words.but what can I say is I end up with crying.feeling suffocates.just in a sudden.okay,my heart starts to heave right now.dont cry.dont rebel.

sabar.

Stay Steady.

2011-11-10T12:46:00.023+08:00

I slept at 3 am worked out on the mock up and plans and the plans are always change.as in Ive put the elevator at the corner of the building but somehow it is necessary to put the elevator at the centre of the building due to human age even its only 1 story building.another case was Ive put the weaving class at the first floor,but then I realised the weaving class should be at the ground floor facing the garden in a way to get close to nature,make it in an open space as well as an avenue to adequate natural lighting to enter thus inpire students in giving the ideas in designing at their table loom or floor loom.I even tried not to deviate the musolla against the qiblah.I want it facing the qiblah jugak.so,I have to be careful in planning the other spaces which adjacent to musolla too.and I was thinking of the parking area for students,staffs,visitors as well as disabled people.ah.the drop off as well.the loading bay.the materials of the building.the roof.how to design a beautiful landscape at the centre of the building.and i dont know when the plans are going to be fixed.haha.

this is the schedule.so,Jannah.beringat2 sikit kalau nak enjoy tu.kerja bertimbun.okay.chill.

LS Midterm - 14th November

UNGS 2050 Midterm - 15th November

ESS Assignment (compare lighting) - 16th November

B.Services Assignment ( Cold Water System) - 16th November

BCM Individual Assignment - 17th November

Leadership presentation - 17th November (if theres no mass lecture)

CRIT 3 - 21ST NOVEMBER!

BCM Group Assignment (Bridge) - 24th November

mama: Nurul.bangun.dah siang dah ni.ni kenapa mock ups ni letak rata-rata.bobo (my cat) main baru tahu. (sambil angkat letak atas meja)

nurul: Mama dah siap mock up ke? (separuh sedar)

mama:Apa? mock up mama? ngigau apa? (giggling)

A brighter future tomorrow.

2011-11-09T07:22:00.005+08:00

‘Ya Allah,kalau dia adalah jodoh ku berilah hambaMu ini petunjuk.dekatkan lah kami.kalau dia bukan jodoh ku maka Kau jauhkan lah kami tanpa ada sebarang rasa sakit,sedih atau kehilangan.’ Ameen...

I asked Him starting from yesterday and today.

Current situation:

God has answered my prayer?

I feel like Allah had already planned something great for me.I feel like He loves me because I got the answer almost an afterthought.even it was a bit frustating for a result,but I strongly believe ,believe on His planning,decisions.now and the latter. Sujud syukur.

This is what I feel and agonize for quite long time which I never tell you before,

Its not because I dont like you.Its not because I ignored you and let you go with ease.I have to.because we have long way to go especially you.If we keep sharing the same feeling,Im worried if the barakah is not there.and I always anxious.Im afraid of His punishment.whats the point of performing solah,qiamulail,reciting Al-Quran if in fact we are still doing what that has been prohibited? because what we are doing is not proper as in texting and always remember each other regardless of time until we are constraint ourselves to do whatever we want in everyday life.That was what you told me.I feel the same way as for you to know.and im glad things are cleared. (monolog dalaman)

And for you. M.A.S,

Good luck for your future undertakings. Kalau ada rezeki satu hari nanti,kita jumpalah.kalau takde,Allah is the best master planner for us.

Kalau nak cakap soal hati ni memang banyak benda nak cakap.tapi benda ni akan menjadikan punca kelalaian.lagha.distracted for the time being.biarkan je ianya terbuku dalam hati masing-masing.

The day we went out.

2011-11-07T20:59:00.010+08:00

I went out with my friend,Ku Nursaidatul Nadhira today.We were heading off to KLCC and Pavi.Pecah rekod ulang-alik sesaje solely to buy kasut. KLCC-Pavi-KLCC-Pavi-KLCC and went home in the very late evening.

Shoes were scattered.

I dont know why this picture looks so innocent.camera pentipu.lol.

You know what? Its hard to find this kind of building design in Malaysia.I felt like I wasnt in Malaysia for a while.lol.

TF.

2011-11-06T18:40:00.009+08:00

We went out just now.I accompanied my brother to buy his stuffs as he'll go back to his school tomorrow.then, we went for Tutti Frutti nearby Wangsa Walk.thanks for the treat Affan. =)

Brother,Affan.

youngest sister,Ainna. =P

Belajar.

2011-11-06T01:20:00.005+08:00

I have tonnes of plans in my head right now.I wanna go out for shopping.gonna meet up few friends.get up early in the morning for jogging.spending time with family at home and many more as long as it is not about study.I mean for the time being.I just wanna let out the stressed that hit me previously.especially in designing.the most stressing part for architectural students. but in fact i shouldnt leave all the works just like that.I just cant put them aside.I have so many things to commit after the mid break.mid term on Monday and Tuesday.assignment that have to be submitted on Wednesday.Preparing for Crit 3 ( suddenly making me pressure) for the next Monday.

Well,Crit 2 had made me frustated.I wasnt ready.It was my first time for not fulfilling the requirement needed by the lecturers.I just cant complete it.Maybe I was too much giving the effort towards the space planning days back and the latter I was blanked.out of battery to execute my task.It was a lesson for me.I should work harder from now on.should be more organized.know how to manage time properly.This is the critical time.I have no time to play around.Oh my God.tiba-tiba kecut perut.

abah: nah duit raya.awak belajar rajin-rajin nurul.

me: terima kasih abah.erk. *sigh okay (sambil teragak-agak)

abah: belajar rajin-rajin.

he was so stressing about it.abah kakak takut nak janji.tapi kakak cuba yang terbaik.

Spirit.

2011-11-02T12:48:00.003+08:00

Hey,dont worry about what you've faced today.you got thousands challenges outside are waiting for you.

be wise Jannah. Youre big girl already. =D

Revolving.

2011-11-01T13:11:00.004+08:00

Sleepless night.pray for me.

Bottom of the sea.

2011-10-30T11:33:00.011+08:00

My friend confided to me to something we never had before.It was last night.

She was sad but at the same time she had to realize that she should carry on with her own life.

Love can hurts us deeply but love can turn out to be something wonderful thing in life.

She told me deep in her heart,she was actually loves the guy but she shouldnt across beyond the boundary.meaning,she just couldnt express her feelings towards the guy because she wasnt sure if the guy she loves will be her future husband or not.also because she was afraid of being hurt.so, she decided to act like normal to the guy.but like I said in my previous entry,even the mouth tells lies but the heart never lies.Everything you see is just a facade.

From the way she told me,it was exactly what I felt.

I feel the same way.

Guys,please understand us.we are striving ourselves to fight the feeling.we dont have the right to say 'I Love You' to you.we are trying our best to be the best for the best man in future.even it hurts the heart really much.even the eyes brimming with tears.but the du'a never loose in prayers.

Till now,I dont have someone special in my life.dont ask me why.I just have to reserve a space in my heart for someone who loves me.someday.

Today.

2011-10-29T23:56:00.012+08:00

I slept awal gila.around 8 to 9 malam semalam.penat agaknya berada di studio sehari suntuk sampai petang.I woke up dengan sendirinya at 4 am tadi.terus teringat design.tapi duduk mengadap lappy online entah apa-apa.buang masa.agaknya mencari mood atau ilham.sampai subuh baru start fikir design.masa nak define space untuk interior tu kena refer report.bila baca-baca report mengantuk pulak.so ambiklah my philips headphone warna intensely biru yang sangat portable yang budak-budak studio ni sangat admire dengan headphone ku ini.then,on lagu kuat-kuat.tapi terasa pekak pulak.so,slow kan and continue baca sambil fikir design.tiba-tiba tengah fikir and try letak space tu I blank.so stuck dekat situ.message senior.tak reply.agaknya tengah tidur la tu balik lambat dari studio semalam.tunggu punya tunggu I decided to naik atas bilik kakak ni nak consult.tengok-tengok memang tengah tidur.I pun duduk lah atas katil dia.Tiba-tiba dia terjaga.I asked her pukul berapa balik semalam and she said she went back from studio at 4am.yea.she ambil part 2 lagi la kena bagi commitment yang teramat sangat.tapi kakak ni kuat.hebat gila.siap masuk berita harian lagi.kagum.so we started a consultation.jam 2 pm tadi I went to studio.dekat kaed gallery ada majlis kahwin siapa entah.tapi takdelah pergi situ.sebab tak diundang pun.

Then,buat kerja sampai 9 pm.mama called tanya tak balik ke.ainna called jugak tanya bila nak balik.kesian adik I boring keseorangan.I havent eat today until I reached home.sampai rumah pun macam kejap je sebab bawak laju dari hari-hari biasa.nak kejar apa pun I tak tahu.haha.

Sampai rumah je abah dekat pintu tolong ambik barang-barang bawak masuk rumah and abah tanya mama dengan nada suara yang rendah.I terdengar ,'nasi ada tak?nurul lapar ni'. ala.abah so sweet..=D so I melantak pukul 11 pm tadi.Alhamdulillah.dah kenyang.

I want to go out for shopping with mama tomorrow.go out with mama's car because I dont want to drive my car as well as her car too.rasa drive ni macam jemu pulak.dulu excited.lagipun,she wont let me to steer her accord.nanti langgar depan belakang baru tahu.haha.tapi abah pulak tak kisah kalau nak bagi drive odyssey.tapi rasa gedabak.tak mahu.huahua.kereta kancil putih jugak yang senang.terasa macam mini cooper.hehe.dulu abah jual civic.sebab manual.takde siapa nak pakai.I bawak memang terkial-kial.banyak kali mati enjin.kalau I bawak pergi belajar rasanya kelas dah separuh jalan I baru sampai kelas.

lagi satu,tadi demam bola.penuh feeds dekat facebook cakap pasal bola je.apa yang best dengan football? I tak suka pun?

Okaylah.Post kali ni sumpah merepek.dah ngantuk.tapi...

design oh design! esok lah I jumpa you ye.

Relinquishment.

2011-10-29T05:00:00.007+08:00

Things are not always turn out well.I never thought to get to know you here because this had made me impossible to reach at the first place,the moment I saw you 5 to 6 years back in tuition classes,but I chose to ignore even the mouth tells lies but the heart tells no lies.but somehow things happened for good too even it ache the heart.I dont know if this is the end of the story. but I always pray for you to be a good people.a good son to your parents.a good future husband to your future wife.that is how going to be.

Everything you see is only a facade.

2011-10-27T20:41:00.012+08:00

If you see people wearing non branded and tattered clothes, dont assume he/she is poor.because you will never know he/she is actually richer than you.It is just like they dont want to expose too much of his/her wealth to people.

If you see a woman is wearing loose clothes and pants ,dont assume she is actually outdated.because you will never know she is actually obeying His regulations.

If you see a young couple holding hands in public and you give a public lashing on them and you degrading them for their disobedient of His rules.remember.you will never know if they are actually married.

If you see someone who likes to walk in a boastful way dont assume he/she is actually a snobbish person.because you will never know that is his own way to walk.

If a person critised on you.be patient and lower your ego and be ready to admit your weaknesses.because you will never know that would make you becoming wiser than before.

If a person treats you badly dont assume he/she is actually hates you.because you will never know he/she is actually loves you than you ever thought.

If someone doesnt text you for quite long time,dont assume he/she doesnt like you or have forgotten about you.because you will never know he/she is actually missing you badly.its just because he/she doesnt want to get hurt if his/her love starts to bloom as he/she get to know you more closer.You know what I mean.

Just to say that, we shouldnt jump into conclusion by just seeing with our naked eyes because everybody has their own special ways of stories behind which we never know until we know the truth.

Self-appreciating.

2011-10-21T10:56:00.004+08:00

I dont mind of being alone detached by people around me here because I know at the end of the day I am not going to live with them.

Wani.Affan.

2011-10-20T17:25:00.005+08:00

know what..?

when you are perpetualy thinking too much on works and at one time you will tend to feel something is missing in your life.something void inside your heart.have you ever felt that?

well,that is what i feel right now.I am actually missing my sister and my brother.I havent seen them more than a month.I know.its only a month plus plus plus.but I care.its like for ages.when she was online for skype I was going to doze off due to fatigue.another case was when my parents decided to visit my brother at his school,I was giving excuse to go back to UIA to complete my tasks.

sorry.kakak rindu awak-awak.

Ruang.

2011-10-17T20:02:00.007+08:00

When you decided not to do works in a studio,there is one way to maximise your space to do works in A1 size paper in your cozy room at mahallah by folding your mattress and you can just sit down to do works on a plank heavenly.I took the idea from one of my seniors.kawan-kawan boleh buat juga.or am i telling a cliche idea?

Yesterday.

2011-10-16T08:05:00.005+08:00

mama : Nurul.bangun.bangun.subuh.

me : happy birthday mama. *terjaga terus ingat birthday mama.

mama: thank you. *senyum.

me : ma,mama nak makan dekat mana? kakak belanja.

abah,mama and me pun pergilah lunch dekat sebuah kedai makan ni.just three of us.Wani dekat India.Affan dekat asrama.Ainna tuition.okay.tiba-tiba rasa macam anak tunggal sekejap.kejap je.lol.

Selamat Hari Jadi Mama! Semoga mama sihat, dirahmati dan diberkati Allah selalu. Senyum selalu. Rindu mama. Sayang mama.

studio.friday.

2011-10-08T18:14:00.029+08:00

Our next project was derived a conceptual idea on canvas through painting based on our future building.the next crit 1 will be on the next monday together with mock up and sketches.we did the painting yesterday.

My painting.I lefted my camera in my mahallah.the quality of this picture is too bad since im using my phone to capture this.at home.

This picture and below were taken using my dslr.baim malu-malu pula.lol

khir was thinking what to add on his canvas while aufa was so preoccupied in his painting

idriss salleh with his painting

hana tried to focus on her work when naqaa' interrupted her.haha. ;p

my studio

madihah rockest! ;p

sillhouette.erm,not really.its more on forms.

gadis-gadis

yan and kuna

TADAA~ ready to be commented by lecturers.

Updated.

2011-10-05T00:35:00.018+08:00

Its been a while since I updated my blog.too busy I guess.

On the 24th of September,we an architectural students had a trip to Lumut for sites analysis.we went there for 3days.the bus departed at 8am from UIA and I was awakened by my friend at 8.20am due to the stayed up late until 5 am tried to finish up the presentation boards in the studio.I was shocked when there were miss calls and messages from friends trying to reach me.I didnt even think to have a bath and I quickly flung all my stuffs in a luggage bag,slammed the door room and stepped down the stairs.what I was thinking was only wanted to get into the bus.and Alhamdulillah.finally,the bus stopped by and i got into the bus.everybody was looking at me.except for those who were sleeping.the bus picked me up at mahalah okay.special case.haha.serious.malu.As I sat down I found that I was trembling and cold resulting to the shocked of being woke up late.that was an awful day I'd ever experienced.

nana : *giggling tadi aku tengok muka kau pucat gila.serabai gila.dengan muka tak mandi.muka kau nampak macam dah tak kisah semua benda asalkan dapat naik bus.lol.

lol.fine.memang tu yang I fikir.nak dapat naik bas je dulu.and I inadvertently lefted my camera.these were the pictures taken by some of my friends.sorry ambil gambar korang.

pelajar-pelajar pintar UIA.

The first presentation for this semetre.we were presented in the Teluk Batik Resort Hall at night after the arrival in the evening.

tired.sleepy.tembam.sepet.

dropped by the road to see the process of making handicraft.

Ready to work out for the site analysis.we were there for about 3 to 4 hours.the sun was like a branding iron scorching on my neck. as well as high humidity of the place and I felt like I was sweating and melekit-lekit aka berlengas you know.can you feel it?

the olympus promoter.

aimi.me.hana.

The second presentation in the studio yesterday.

Presented by one of our group members.abe.

This is the picture taken after the presentation.idriss the foreigner who become our blood flesh now ,together in one group treated us with makanan arab in UIA cafe.banyak gila nasi sepinggan tu.boleh makan dua orang and the total payment was rm 299.nanti kami semua nak group dgn idriss lagi lah.boleh makan free setiap kali presentation dalam group.HAHA.im joking only.dont be soo serious.i am not that materialistic.lol.

Well,now the next project will be in an individual project until the final for this semestre.the major project is coming soon.i need to be more hardworking and be strong.pray for me and friends guys!

fullstop.

2011-09-17T16:40:00.001+08:00

I want you to be as a friend.

love needs sacrifice.

2011-09-11T09:04:00.004+08:00

ainna.me.wani.at KLIA yesterday.

I clutching her tightly.I dont have any idea when I want to let her go.we let the tears break free before she left.

via text message.

wani: kat dalam plane.ready to take off lagi 5 minit.jangan sedih2.nanti kita shopping kat India.bye.

me: tak sedih pun.take care wani.youre strong.baca doa opah bagi tu.I love you.

dont forget to pray for us.for abah.for mama.recite Al-Quran and mathurat consistently.when you sad ask Him to give you strength.if you miss us dont forget to skype us.since you dont have ym and I dont have skype so I need to install skype for you.study sana elok-elok noohhh..

with Love,your sister.

because I know its worth.

2011-09-09T09:11:00.005+08:00

I could feel things are sending back to where I started.to where against to its place.I am afraid of been wanting to pace ahead in meeting people,in meeting the new same environment which revolve around me.I know I cant blame people around me.especially you by far.please just stay away.I am not ready to take.I am just not strong enough because every glance is killing me.because every moment just bring me nothing but neglectful.

it aches me.but worth.

if I dont take the matter with my own hands who is going to take the matter?

Eidul Fitri.

2011-09-05T15:51:00.021+08:00

Alhamdulillah for after a month struggling to complete and try my best in executing the sawm,khatam Al-Quran,Qiamulail,Taraweeh and etc.finally,Ramadan had came to an end.I was sad to the thought of Ramadan had left and I dont know whether I could meet the next Ramadan once again next year.but what we can do is always ask Him to have us live more longer and meet the barakah month again.I think I dont have to tell more about the flow of the hari rayas event starting from the first day.those pictures below will tell you more followed by captions.

raya at rumah opah

the youngest cousin at my dads side.3 year-old.she loves to dance and sing a lot.

I prefer plain baju kurung this year.

We had an open house yesterday.we did tahlil at noon followed by reciting Yaasin and Du'a for my sister,Zawani who will fly to India ,further her studies in medic course on September 10th.All relatives and friends were coming.

kids were playing around.

not enough with that,they played in my room.see! got small kid was sleeping on the bed and they nonchalantly yelling and playing in the room.they were sooo playful because they are just kids.lol.

anak-anak teruna.

some of my wonderful relatives.

guests.

friends.

newly wed.my married cousin.

say cheese everybody!

my friend,Maryam who was so energetic in delivering her words.lol.

friendship are born.not made. :)

iktikaf.IIUM Mosque.

2011-08-25T15:55:00.023+08:00

Alhamdulillah.four days iktikaf in the UIA mosque had led me to always remember Him more and more.The most Merciful.Subhanallah.I even know people more.All the sisters were so nice and friendly.they treated each other nicely.everybody was non-stop reciting the Al-Quran.before break the fast,before tahajjud,before sleep,after taraweeh,before subuh,after subuh.Subhanallah.

As I recited the Al-Quran at the back until I stopped,I shut the Al-Quran and had a long agonizing tonnes of things about myself.TONNES.I looked straight at the mat prayer in front of me which seems an endless point and alluded the titian siratul mustaqim which has been stated in surah Al-Fatihah.

'tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus' (Al-Fatihah,ayat 6)

my heart started to heave and thankful at the same time.

I glanced up looking at the sisters scrutinizing the way they donned.they covered their aurah completely.their scarfs were completely covered on them.they were wearing handsocks,socks.their ablutions never dried on their faces.they were so beautiful.and I can feel the tranquility in them.

back to my first day went to the mosque,suddenly got a sister patting me asked me if I would like to jemaah together for the maghrib prayer.from there,I got to know her.she was a nice lady.

after done with the pray,we had a talk.I asked her many petty things about the hukum hakam in praying,sawm (fasting) and etc.she explained to me very well.

sister ain: Okaylah Jannah.akak nak baca Al-Quran kejap.if Jannah ada apa-apa akak ada dekat belakang ye.

her smile never faltered from the first time we talked.

At 3.00 am,people started to get up for tahajjud.as the Mullah recited the dua (doa) I could feel a lump shot in his throat demanding to weep.he was crying which he barely to continue.I even heard some of jemaah were started to weep.I started to blott my eyes with my telekung. tears sliding down the telekung and trickled down to the mat prayer.only He knows how thankful I am for making me aware about this life and led me to His merciful.

when the tahajjud finished everybody had their sahoor.they were eating in the platters and ate together.it was my second time since the last time I ate in a platter.it was two years back.oh mannn...seriously I was a little bit unease eating rices in a platter together.I even tasted the bile waiting to throw up!

but I must get used to it because this is what our Prophet did too and this could somehow closed the chasm between each other.and today was my third time,I was slightly okay with it.bedal je lah kan.

after had a sahoor,everybody was get up preparing for subuh.and right after the subuh prayer we had a ma'thurat recitation.

me: ala.Jannah tak bawak ma'thurat.

sister ain: takpe.akak bawak.

she handed me her small ma'thurat.when we were about to begin we had been told that theres a tazkirah downstairs.we split and I decided to go home for a while.as I was heading to the carpark,I gave myself a chance to lower my feet to the centre of UIA to enjoy the scenery in the morning.it was 7 am on that time.I saw a guy from behind dashing a black baju melayu with kopiah on his head sitting on the bare stairs against the water fountain.he was reciting Al-Quran.my smile lurked just beneath its surface.Subhanallah.His words were chanting broke the early morning.I even wish to have a husband like that too.but let Allah decides the rest.as I was on home sister ain had texted me.

'Salaam.Jannah,kak ain ni.if Jannah nak balik takpe.boleh je.ma'thurat akak tadi akak hadiahkan buat Jannah.moga jadi bacaan lazim yang menjadi bekal kekuatan untuk Jannah.hati-hati balik ye. =)'

Thank you kak ain!

day by day,I get to know many new sisters.yesterday in the early morning, there was a sister who was sitting beside me and asked my name and she introduced her name to me too.she was from UIA Kuantan.we had a talk.

me: kak,saya dah lama tengok kakak-kakak ni pakai handsocks.tak panas ke? saya teringin nak pakai.saya pernah pakai tapi tak selesa.lepas tu tak pakai dah.

sister sarah: tak.akak dulu sekolah agama.kak tengoklah ustazah akak pakai.cantik sangat.akak pun pakailah.masa tu akak takde pasang niat apa-apa.akak pakai je.sebab nampak cantik.kemas and akak memang pakai sampai sekarang.

me:kalau lah kita pakai baju kurung.and baju kurung tu dah tutup tangan kita dah.tapi kadang-kadang terselak.tu kira dosa ke?

sister sarah : ye.kita tahu ianya aurat and tangan baju tu akan mudah terselak.jadi kita kena tutup betul-betul.sama jugak macam tudung.kalau tudung tu labuh pun.tapi kalau angin tiup tiba-tiba ternampak apa yang tak sepatutnya nampak tu kira dosa.sebab kita yang tak tutup betul-betul.lepas tu masa akak dah pakai tu lama-lama niat kerana Allah tu datang.

syurga tu mahal.jadi,kita kena kuat,bersusah payah untuk dapatkannya.sama macam kita nak beli emas.emas kan mahal,so kita kena bekerja keras untuk dapat duit yang banyak untuk membeli emas.

awesome analogy isnt?

Actually,I learned too much things within these four days.Alhamdulillah.everything was fine.I am not going today.since all my family members were at home.got to help my mother and my sister at home.qiamulail at home should be great too.and I wish I can drive heading off to the mosque back on the night of 27th. Rindu.

what about my cuts?

2011-08-21T22:03:00.012+08:00

It was downright sad,angry,being tested as I felt like something had gnawing inside my heart when I found my coveted laptop had been stole during the past.it was my COVETED LAPTOP.all the documents were inside and I lost most of everything just in a crack of eyelids.on that particular time, the most one thing that kept looming over me was my CAD 2D assignment.the work which I strained my eyes to be opened for days.the matter that I really need as the due date had came to an end.yes.it had been transfered into my pendrive but got virus in it as I plunged my pendrive into other pcs before.but Alhamdulillah.the works secured.

Actually my sister had bought her new laptop (used to be my coveted laptop) yesterday and her other gadgets as a compensation as she got her place to India and maybe this is the reason I rise hell post about this again.I am not mad.but I am sooo..argh.I cant explain in words.you will know when YOUR belonging is being stole by troublesome and useless people.frankly speaking,things that make me driven a mixture of sadness and angriness is that they didnt know what is SIN about,ENJOYING themselves into this and being sooo SELFISH to care about victims feeling.

the lost laptop

Yesterday during break fast.

Abah: takpe.nanti abah belikan awak Macbook air.

Me: *manage a strained grin.

Abah,I dont mind using an inherits laptop from one of my siblings.it isnt soo old.its vista.lol.I dont mind using DELL, not even change about it because I dont want to torture my heart ,broaching the whirlwind of half thought spinning in my head anymore if the laptop is missing for the second time.Plus, I will be going to use a desktop soon for the projects.so I dont really need a new laptop for all this while.

I want this.who doesnt? but not for now.I just have to wait.

Ramadan 16.

2011-08-16T19:10:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I dont feel what i am doing is right.what i have done through were still inadequate.I still remember when I inadvertently sit beside you.it was on the taaruf week (orientation week) in CFS IIUM,PJ.it was in 2008.you were alone.your eyes downcast.your mouth muttered His words under your breath.I saw you opened a small Al-Quran with the translations on it.everybody was enjoying watching the multimedia presentation and the nasheed on the stage.but your eyes didnt adjusted to them.

I barked into series of words. 'urmm..nama awak siapa?'

'mashitah.awak?' she anwered.smiling at me.

'nama saya jannah.rajin awak baca.awak dulu sekolah mana?' I asked.

'sekolah integrasi Jempol.awak?' she asked me back.

'sekolah dekat sini je.' I said.

'awak baca surah apa?' while looking at the Al-Quran from her.

she told me.but I forgot what surah did she told me and I saw there were so many bookmarks pasted on the translations.looked like she wanted to memorize or else.

'urm.saya tak biasa duduk hostel.dulu saya sekolah biasa je.saya ni lemah semangat.' I bit my lips right after blurted some words.

she flipped the pages and showed it to me. 'ni surah Al-Mulk.awak bacalah kalau awak rasa takut.baca before tidur.'

The event ended.everybody had dismissed and I didnt see her anymore.

I still remember when I got a very major test from Him.I was weeping all the time.I was very sad all the time.I smiled but the sadness persisted beneath my face.

During the project on going I stayed up at the studio until dawn.I decided to go back for subuh prayer.but I lefted my handphone in the studio.I walked down to the studio to take my handphone right after performed the prayer.

it was 7 o'clock in the morning showed on my watch wrist.

and I saw her sitting on the bench near the cafe alone with her Al-Quran opened in her hands.I approached her again after took my handphone from the studio.

I confided everything what I felt.she was listening without saying any words until I finished.

Subhanallah.her words really plausible to take as lessons.she told me with analogies.and yes.its true.

I went for usrah with her.she gave me some words to remind me about this life here and hereafter.I asked her to buy me one small Al-Quran so that I could easily carry anywhere else.and that was the first time I recited the Al-Quran with the translation until now.I feel like Allah is talking to me,reminding me about life in dunya and hereafter.

Subhanallah..

my tears were sliding down on my cheeks agonizing my sins.everyday.sometimes I could feel that I am good enough to be a perfect Muslim.but I still lack of it.I always regret when Im awake for sahoor I suddenly realize that I havent perform tahajjud yet.I used to set up an alarm but sometimes I dont realize that I am half awake whilst shut it down.and sometimes I am in conscious but I just shut down my alarm and drifted into dreaming again.astaghfirullah...a good and pious muslim should have less sleep.thats supposed to be.

have I performed five daily namaz prayers with kusyu'?

have I performed tahajjud,dhuha and other recommended ibadah everyday?

have I respected my parents very well?

have I covered my aurah completely?

what about my mouth? talking crappy and unnecessary things and might even break peoples heart where I supposedly moisturing my mouth with zikrullah and spread good words to people.

what about my eyes? am I lowering my gaze completely?

what about my heart? goddamn pure enough?

astaghfirullahalazim...

I should fight for my nafs and search for Jannah.

I want an eternal life abode in Jannah.

you still have rooms for improvement.grab it before its too late.

ALLAH LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHERE YOU AT.

5 Ramadhan 1432 H

2011-08-06T13:04:00.007+08:00

Mullah bellowed adzan calling for the faithful bow heads west performed namaz prayer followed by tarawih and witr.banging of firecrackers blaring up the sky and the vicinity had completely made me happy and countless thanks to Him for having me lived to twenty one.Thanks to You for giving me lovely parents and such a wonderful family I have which had gave me the greatest affection that sometimes we almost forget and not appreciate of their existance.I am thankful being surrounded by good friends who always hurl me spirits and optimism to move forwards.and thanks for the numerous wishes 'sanah helwa' I received.may I always be in your prayer.

Priceless.

2011-08-01T23:03:00.016+08:00

As I stepped into the shop,eyes of the promoters were darting at my mum and I.one of them approached us for assistance.she served as a trainee.a little chubby looked with a smile carved on her lips.later came another one.this time she looked as she had worked for a long time ago and I got a distinct notion of her probably to train the trainee lady on how to deal with customer.

A moment later,mum and I parted ways.she was scanning the stuffs while I was scanning and amble furtively at the other space.just a moment ago,a tall man dashing a long sleeves shirt tucked in with a black pants came over me.

'you suka ni?' he muttered.

'oh.saja tengok.' I said curtly.

'yang ni cantik,sesuai dengan you.' he said.

'oh.tak pernah pakai pun.tak sesuai.' I replied to convince.he scotch and said while wagging his hands. 'dekat sini ada macam-macam cutting yang sesuai dengan semua orang.come here.I want to show you this one.'

I tailed him reluctantly and waited for him finding it for me, even I knew I was never going to buy it.we were adjacent to my mum who was still searching for the stuffs.then she blurted 'dekat sini ada kerja kosong tak?ada orang tu nak kerja dekat sini.' she was looking from the man who was still crouching finding to me.then the man asked 'siapa?' .His eyes adjusted to me and smile carved on his face knowing the answer.he extended the stuff that he had found and asked to try it if it is suit on me.I went to the fitting room to have a try.my mum and the man asked me to go out to have a look.

he smiled at me and said 'boleh tahan.' my head downcast and smiled abashedly while filling up the application form.

A few minutes plodded,a woman came over to interview me and asked 'you nak kerja part time or full time?'

'part time.just a month.' I said.

she glared at me and said 'kalau part time I tak ambik because most of the part timers are students and they had soo many excuses and kadang-kadang berhenti macam tu je.'

my heart sank a bit and said 'maknanya memang tak ambik lah?'

she nodded.

'okay.takpelah kalau macam tu.thank you very much.' I smiled and sneaked out towards my mum who was still looking and trying at the stuffs.

as a few minutes passed by,the man called me right after I saw him talking to the woman.probably to ask her about me or something else which perhaps wasnt about me.and he said, 'I give you a part time job.just for you.orang lain I tak bagi.'

'oh.okay.thank you.' I said.

as i on to home I soon realized that I do not have a chance to perform tarawih at the mosque or musolla at all because I will be off from working at 8.30 pm or may be extended until the eve of eid! and I was sad about it.

'why must I have to work in this month? why must in Ramadhan? I should give myself a chance to purify my heart trying to make it goddamn pure.be a virtuous muslim.

I told my mum that I changed my mind.I wasnt going to work.I want to go to tarawih as I craved since last year as I didnt really have the opportunity to perform tarawih due to the final project on going.and she said 'takpelah.ikut awak la.' and abah also said that I was funny trying to get a job in this month and not in the previous months. 'tu lah.cuti lama-lama haritu relax je.haha'

maybe I was being induced as I heard 'students are going for a part time job for semester break.dont you?' danced in every of their lips and today is my first day.I didnt go for work.I gave them a call saying I want to resign.I had been asked why and I didnt have any idea to tell as the main reason here is because I am afraid of missing tarawih at the mosque/musolla and dhuha.

well, I think I should tell the truth rather than comforted with a lie.plus,Im not a liar and I dont know how to lie.then,she said 'oh.okay.takpe.takpe.' sounds in a manner way. a huge relief came over me.huahaha.

I just came back from musolla before writing this.this is the moment I had waiting for that I really never forget.I just want to say,we should grab this chance.Ramadhan only comes once a year.try to change to be a better muslim.ask Him forgiveness.be sincere.maybe we will not be living in this world next year.who knows?

Unwavery Loyalty.

2011-07-27T17:48:00.003+08:00

I always remember.The immensely popular words to keep me pacify whisper through my ears, when a man loves me, he will show up to the periphery of my life and try harder to make it into reality.not me.or anybody else. I mean it.

Waste not.

2011-07-25T23:24:00.009+08:00

To be frank,fishing money from my purse is totally unstoppable when it comes to shopping! It guilts me sometimes but shopping keeps inducing me that i hardly resist.I dont know perhaps it acts me as an antidote growing bored in idyllic (semester break) lifestyle. (to the bleak fact,I used to reduce the money to shop most of the time).
Shopping-spree can make you happy for sure but its a sin as it comes to the waste part as I merely keep them in my closet, letting them inside like a cell for ages.and of course I will have in a position to don them someday but tell me how many times I might don them?

Perhaps I could start curbing on spending my allowance in purchasing scarfs,tops,jeans,shoes,handbags (not really for this moment) ,slipper again and I already own three pairs by far excluded slipper jamban di UIA.
Well, I think I have to minimize pacing ahead to mall as in KLCC and Pavilion in particular or maybe I need to close my eyes whenever I pass by the shops?
OUH! The world will be dark without me.

Arabic.

2011-07-23T23:45:00.003+08:00

i am dreaming to be fluent in arabiq language because i found it sooooo cool.

Scribble.

2011-07-21T14:56:00.012+08:00

Right after helping my dad in constructing three floor plans for his workplaces I soon realized I was getting bored which was absolutely nothing to do for most of the day.The door of my parents room was a bit ajar.So,I walked in and put those papers on my dad's table which is located at the edge corner of the room,the place he used to do his works.

I got back heading off to my room and bobbed down until my knees drawn to my chest on the furred carpet.The portable table was right in front of me together with my sketchbook,pencils,T-square,eraser and templates on top,the remained tools after done with the plans.

I flipped through the pages of the sketchbook which havoc of handwritten and a very rough sketches which looked soooo disastrous to me to exaggerate.But that was fine to me.I lifted my pencil from the table and lowered it down on the cartridge paper trying to doodle something which i aint got no idea what i was trying to draw.

I glanced up and peeked around my room trying to work out to something to draw.and later my eyes were darting on the hanging bag behind the door room.I started to sketch.frigidity.

End up with an 'awesome' sketch.oh.do take no notice of the handwritten at the bag.

Okay.enough for that.The next drawings were a woman clothes.I love fashion and had dreamy of hiring a special tailor solely for me.hihi.dreaming up up in the sky.la la la.

AH-HA..! in the midway of talking about fashion,I suddenly knocked up to say that I am entice with the muslimah hijab.I mean the 'truly' hijab as in no wearing tight jeans and tops as well as the scarfs and tops that are flimsy and scantily.

To have a modest preference can often seem difficult and slightly daunting actually.Islam encourages us to beautify ourselves and be cleaned all the time as long as it is in the line of Islam regulations.Just to say that,our intention is the utmost important as a whole.Ask ourselves and think again.

I rather put aside those crappy nonsenses clothes which I guess way fashionable yet not in His accord.I am trying to ameliorate my intention and my way of wearing hijab to render me as a moderates ,clean and elegant in some ways.

Just the matter of time.

2011-07-18T15:27:00.017+08:00

I was falling about laughing,carved a smile,boosted my spirits,annoyed at times,missed those moments and touched which had burst me into tears as i spent my time to read most of my older posts last night starting from the very first post of mine.and i got a vivid red eyes right after reading it resulting of staring at the screen for hours.As I bustle myself reading I even realized there were some comments from some friends of mine and bloggers commented on my posts which i hadnt read for ages! seems they are still reading my older posts apparently.

I found some of my posts were too personal to be told off and I even had an urge to delete thoses before this.yet i aint averse to my idea which is I am just want to let them be.eventually.

do you know why? that is because I want my children to read about my past someday.LOL.not just that.It elates you when you are reading about yourself remisniscing how you'd faced the situations during the past.then the feelings of missing those moments will accidently broach into yourself.maybe thats we called it 'A Journey to Remember'? the header sounds lame isnt? and I was about to change it in zillion of times but I think i am not in the serious mood in a way to replace the words yet.

Blogging can be a super duper interesting as you can confide about yourself so that people can read and know you well what type of person you are.

p/s : Hey! I am missing my ex-schoolmates in primary school! For them who read this post I just want to say i cant wait to see you guys even I dont have any ideas when we will be meet up again as I reckon it has been about 9 to 10 years since the last time we met.Love you guys!

Bids for tranquility.

2011-07-17T18:03:00.008+08:00

I have been partially invisible to the outside world for the moment.some were said it has been a long time havent heard any news since they last contacted me.

I apologise realizing i have driven people mad or touched in the first place due to my silence or perhaps the attitude of stave off from people.I cant even gently explain how I am spitting myself with my attitude.I have not been true to my words,and i feel soo bad.I am completely baffle.I am bombarding with questions which have incredible answers to know.I am in the verge of striving to undo the muddle of thought in my head.but I just cant obey my brain to stop because I know what I did had much purpose to me.to anybody.to you.eventhough I got a massive wave of pain through my chest at times.

I acknowledge people hard to comprehend other peoples feeling.that is because we felt by our own that no one knows what we felt as well as what we are thinking from time to time.remember.people change.some people change to be good but some arent.and I am glad if I could be the good one.I am trying to amount to something worthwhile for myself whilst i am still alive.

Allah.closed to me.

2011-07-13T15:03:00.007+08:00

i vaguely know how we can spark until this conversation.

situation: in the car last night.

mama : abah cakap kalau nak cari suami mesti yang jaga solat and tak merokok.

me : oh.bila abah cakap?

mama : dah lama dah.

me : ohhhh.

suasana sunyi seketika.semua diam.

traffic light pun merah.kereta pun berhenti.nampak pulak kereta sebelah dengan cermin tingkap kereta terbuka and tangan lelaki yang terkeluar sambil memegang rokok.

satu lagi situasi yang i hadapi when i was tengah berjalan berselisih dengan seorang lelaki tiba-tiba asap berkepul-kepul dikeluarkan which was exactly shrouded on my face.setepek kena dekat muka.time tu rasa nak pergi sound je tapi hati ni sabar.sabar.

perasaan benci yang timbul serta merta.bukan benci mereka-mereka itu,tapi perangai mereka itu sendiri.kenapa rokok jugak yang dipilih kalau dah ketagih sangat? okay.im pretty sure semua orang tahu rokok ni bahaya.bahaya untuk kau satu hal.kalau sedut dalam kuantiti yang banyak.

tapi TOLONG fikirkan orang persekitaran.

we are the passive smokers! tak kan tak tahu itu lebih membahayakan? kalau any severe illness happen to us are you going to take heed of us? you cant compensate with anything mannnn.

i kalau tahu seseorang tu merokok memang out lah.i tak pandang orang macam tu kalau nak buat suami.kesian dekat anak-anak nanti.

ada orang kata.'bagilah dia peluang kedua ' or ayat lain 'remaja memang nak mencuba sesuatu.biasalah tu.'

baik.manusia itu melakukan kesalahan.tapi kalau yang dah terlintas nak stop tapi buat jugak apa kejadahnya?maknanya Allah dah bagi hidayah untuk stop.untuk kebaikan diri sendiri dan juga orang lain.tapi kalau hidayah sahaja yang ada pun tak cukup.tetapi taufiq yang wajib diharapkan.

taufiq ini bermaksud sesuatu yang diciptakan oleh Allah SWT yang mendorong (iaitu jalan yang dihadapi) seseorang itu untuk melakukan kebaikan jika perkara tersebut berada di dalam dirinya.

Taufiq tidak akan diberikan oleh Azza Wajalla melainkan hanya kepada mereka yang bersungguh-sungguh mengabdikan diri dengan rasa kehambaan demi mendekatkan diri kepadaNYA.

“Dan orang-orang yang bersungguh-sungguh berusaha di dalam agama Kami, nescaya Kami akan beri petunjuk kepada mereka akan jalan-jalan kami.” (Al-Ankabut: 69)

nak cari suami ni bukan benda yang boleh dibuat main-main.bukan sekadar ikut nafsu.perasaan.tapi fikirkanlah situasi yang bakal ditempa pada masa depan.

ada yang bercinta sekarang.tunang dengan orang lain.kahwin dengan orang lain.so better single kan diri anda.kenal diri kita ni siapa.kenal betul-betul siapa penciptaNya.tahu apa sebenarnya matlamat hidup kita.jangan sibuk nak cari yang soleh.tapi sebagai wanita,kita perlu mensolehahkan diri ini dulu.

kalau ingin menolak ,tolak lah secara baik.kalau suka,diamkan sahaja.bimbang diri ini terleka.

sampai seru nanti kahwinlah.

Ya Allah.kabulkan doa kami.

2011-07-11T21:58:00.003+08:00

Suara rakyat tidak diperdengarkan! rakyat tidak berpeluang untuk menuntut keADILan!

INGATLAH! Sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah amat dekat.Allah sentiasa bersama-sama dengan orang yang ingin melakukan kebaikan.

ALLAHUAKBAR! ALLAHUAKBAR! ALLAHUAKBAR!

Ramadhan.

2011-07-07T23:57:00.003+08:00

Muslims are now beginning to feel the pinch of Ramadhan.I was increasingly excited to the thought of Ramadhan is just around the corner.I really cant wait for next month as i reminiscing the activities i had done during previous Ramadhan.i hope those are not only seem to be remained there.

istiqamah.ameen.

Hati yang tak mampu untuk berkata-kata.

2011-07-06T21:56:00.014+08:00

Dia baru sahaja mengemaskini blog. Dibetul-betulkan kedudukannya di atas kerusi itu. Kemudian diregang-regangkan badan. Terkeluar sedikit suara-suara kecil dari mulutnya. Lalu buku biru itu dibuka. Log masuk. Itulah pilihan terakhirnya untuk mengelakkan diri dari berteriak ‘BOSAN’ kuat-kuat, dikuatiri nanti terbangun pula adik bongsunya yang telahpun tidur nyenyak itu.

Paparan dinding dibuka. Selalunya banyak cerita malam minggu ini. Jari tunjuk pada tetikus itu giat memutar roda tengah untuk pergi ke bawah. Matanya tertancap pada gambar yang baru dimuatnaik oleh kawan perempuannya setengah jam lepas. Kawannya itu tak adalah rapat sangat. Kenal pun lebih kurang sahaja. Hati berkata mahu lihat. Ditekannya pada gambar itu. Oh. Memang ramai betul yang suka gambar dia ni. Setiap kali perempuan tu muat naik gambar, tak sampai sejam sahaja mesti dah ada dua puluh orang yang suka. Komen berjela-jela pula tu. Ah. Naik meluatlah dia. Apa guna muka cantik tapi pertayangkan pada orang ramai? Lepas tu berbangga pula bergambar dengan gajet-gajet mahal. Dia memang tak berapa suka memuat naik gambar dekat buku biru tu. Tak mahulah riak berbisik dalam hati bila sang manusia memujinya. Lantaklah apa orang nak mengata tentang dia.

Lalu dia pangkah paparan gambar perempuan itu. Jari telunjuknya bekerja lagi. Kali ni ternampak pula gambar duit. Biasalah, manusia zaman sekarang semua nak duit ekspres. Gambar-gambar itu menayangkan aksi seperti baring-baring dengan duit, cium duit, susun duit macam kipas, ahh. Mengarut semua duit tu. Kalau betul kau kaya sangat, tak perlu buat aksi bodoh dengan duit tu. Riak tahu? Hngghhh. Orang kaya dalam dunia pun tak ada nak tayang duit. Nak duit kena kerja keras. Bukan senang nak senang.

Tiba-tiba muncul warna merah pada sebelah kiri paparan. Ditekannya butang itu. Rupanya mesej dari kawannya. Bertanya khabar. Dan bertanya juga, mengapa ditutup dinding? Susah pula dia nak conteng. Akan tetapi, mudah sahaja jawapan yang diberi. Privasi. Kawannya pula berkata, yalah. Dekat mesej pun boleh tegur kau kan. Dia hanya tersenyum. Balasan kawannya itu cuma dibalas dengan emotikon senyum. Malas mahu taip barangkali.

Keluar semula pada dinding. Contengan manusia memang takkan pernah berhenti. Ada sahaja cerita baru. Tiga minit lalu, ada satu status berbunyi agak bising. Cukuplah sahaja dengan gelak besar dan kata-kata cinta yang ditujukan pada kekasihnya. Setiap hari mesti ada status macam ini dari dia. Belum jadi suami lagi, tapi lagaknya macam dah kahwin. Bercinta pun belum sampai setahun. Siap kata rindu, sayang, cinta. Ramai pula yang suka. Huh. Status itu cukup mencacatkan matanya. Macamlah kau seorang saja yang bercinta dalam dunia ni perempuan! Cukuplah kau buat status macam ni. Dalam hati ada juga berkira-kira mahu tutup sahaja buku biru ni. Tak adalah nak mengeji dalam hati sana sini. Dosa juga kan.

Tiba-tiba tergerak hati dia nak buka profil seorang ni. Lama tak dengar cerita dia. Dikatakan menyimpan perasaan terhadap lelaki itu hampir mencecah tujuh tahun. Dikatakanya juga lelaki itu merupakan anak kawan ayahnya. Ditaip namanya di petak ‘cari’. Lalu keluarlah paparan muka profilnya dengan gambar kacaknya di sebelah kiri. Oh! Lihat pula pada koleksi gambar. Tak adalah banyak mana gambarnya, tetapi nyata disebalik gambar-gambar itu terdapat beberapa komen dari rakan baiknya mengatakan tentang ‘seseorang yang istimewa’. Ah sudah. Dia dah berpunya ke? Dia membetul-betulkan alat dengar pada telinga yang sedang memainkan lagu Afraid Of Love nyanyian J Rice. Kemudian mata beralih semula pada paparan skrin. Semakin lama semakin rasa yang dalam hatinya mula terasa bibit-bibit cemburu. Kalau aku cemburu pun, apa yang aku dapat kan? Macam la kalau aku suka dia, lepas tu beritahu dia dan boleh kahwin? Semua ni mainan perasaan saja. bukan aku tak mahu bercinta. Cuma sekarang bukan waktu yang sesuai. Tuhan saja yang tahu. Sudahlah semua ni lagha! Kerana prinsipnya cinta untuk suami takkan dikongsi. Dipangkah tab profil lelaki itu dan berbalik semula pada dinding cerita tanpa henti. Untuk pengetahuan,

mesej pesanan ringkas dari insan yang bernama lelaki juga sudah dia kini tidak endahkan melainkan perkara penting sahaja. Ingin sahaja dia membalas. Tetapi ini semua kerana ingin menjaga batas-batas pergaulan. Hanya maaf yang dipinta dari lubuk hatinya.

Sambil-sambil dia menggerakkan roda tengah tetikus, dalam akal tetap memproses maklumat yang ada. Rata-rata dalam bilangan kawannya yang hampir mencecah 780 orang itu kebanyakkannya ibarat ahli politik, pengulas sukan, doktor cinta, ustaz ustazah, promoter sepenuh masa, komposer muzik, dan ada juga yang hanya menjadi tukang suka status. Mengipas punggung orang yang ibarat artis, mahu tumpang popular. Oh, di buku biru ni siapa pun boleh jadi artis, asalkan kau ada rupa dan pandai bergaya. Kalau kau setakat manusia sederhana, orang pun fikir 139 kali nak suka gambar dan status kau.

Jam menunjukkan hampir pukul 12.30 tengah malam. Tapi mata masih belum mengantuk. Apa mahu buat? Lalu dia berbaring di atas katil. Dalam diam dia sedar juga hakikat memiliki buku biru ni. Perlu banyak bersabar. Nak buat macam mana kan, nak salahkan orang lain pun tak boleh. Itu hak mereka mahu menyuarakan apa saja. Sememangnya dia tak layak menghina mencaci. Kerana mungkin juga ada insan yang berfikiran sedemikian sepertinya, dan dia pun tidak mahulah jika orang lain beranggapan dia juga menjengkelkan di buku biru itu. Pendek kata, tak semua hati orang dia boleh jaga. Itulah sebab dia begitu jarang buka buku biru. Sebab buka buku biru yang disertai cacian dalam hati pun sebenarnya menyakitkan hati sendiri juga.

Dia pun log keluar dari paparan itu. Cukuplah untuk hari ini. Hawa dingin dipasang, lampu ditutup dan kain selimut ditarik.

hasil kerja ini dipetik dari

http://aidasays.blogspot.com/ yang begitu arif menceritakan tentang diriku di mana barangkali aku sendiri pun tidak akan menceritakannya di sini.

terima kasih kawan. =)

seize the moment.

2011-07-04T22:38:00.009+08:00

okay.petang tadi keluar jumpa aliah,nadira and izlina dekat wangsa walk.yang berbaju kuning tu aliah and lama tak jumpa dia since dia pun 9th of july ni dah nak balik sydney.why sooo kejap sangat cuti ? nak tunggu and jumpa dia next time akhir tahun depan baru boleh balik malaysia.okay.rindu.so,gambar dekat atas tu ialah gambar aliah and sebelah kanan beliau izlina sedang bermain game racing kereta sampai terjerit-pekik sebab kalah.tapi takpe.bukan selalu dapat main game.nanti dah start busy.and lepas tunggu mereka main game kami berempat pun singgah di tutti frutti and borak-borak.sebab lama tak dengar cerita.

ex-schoolmates.

archidex | 2011

2011-07-02T19:09:00.005+08:00

Well,today is a little bit tiring yet exciting for the event.i departed from home around 2.15pm due to waiting for zuhur time and planned to perform the prayer at home as i dislike my prayer to be in topsy-turvy as soon as i get to KLCC musolla which will be packed of people inside.as i arrived alone at the venue i called up my friend,which served as a crew event and ushered me throughout the registration process.thank you ku saidatul nadhira.well,there are lots of products were being exhibits which are in terms of the materials for the buildings components as well as the products for the interior parts.i didnt hesistate to take all the brochures whenever i came across the booths.and the result was i hoisted many goodie bags until i felt the pain on my shoulders walking lethargically.okay.i just realized that i havent had my lunch yet.patut ah penat semacam.

as time goes by,i forgot that it was in the evening already.the sky looked gloomy and planned to go back home as soon as possible.just in a few seconds of planning,my mom had called me and asked me to pick up my youngest sister from her school as she just arrived from the visit to batu caves and shah alam.so i picked her up.she bought a bunch of chocolates (damn.tahan.tahan) and the turtle! well,no pictures are taken during the event.and this is the only picture i have in my camera.HA HA.

mempersembahkan....kura-kura!

his name is chichi.i wonder what sort of name she gave for her turtle.haha.

DATUM KL!

2011-07-01T20:44:00.018+08:00

Yesterday i went to KLCC accompanied by my ex-schoolmate,Nadira to join the Datum:KL 2011 Kuala Lumpur Architecture Festival forum.the speakers were awesome especially when it came to the presentation of their projects.most of them were from overseas architects.At first,i cant really concentrate as my head was spinning around all of a sudden.damn.my belly started to hovered indicates me to threw up.my eyes were keep on adjusted to the door to exit and went out to the toilet but i decided not to walk out as i didnt feel like to puke.after lunch hour and performed zuhur prayer my head had turned out well.the forum continued from 9 am and to be ended at 6.15 pm.Alhamdulillah.

the stage

please ignore the conspicuous pimple there! LOL.

enough for the facebook please.LOL.

desolate.people were had a tea break for a while before another last speaker to give his input for yesterday.well,the archidex exhibition has now been held starting from yesterday until 3rd of july 2011,from 11am to 7pm,KLCC! jom datang ramai-ramai kasi GEGAR!

camping?

2011-06-26T14:28:00.006+08:00

Di suatu petang yang boring hati melonjak-lonjak untuk melakukan sesuatu aktiviti supaya berpeluh kami tiga beradik pun bercamping di depan rumah.lepak-lepak dalam tu.kejap je,lepas tu simpan balik khemah tu.tak kuasa nak tidur dalam tu panas-panas.

wani yang comel.

dah nak maghrib.time untuk mengemas!

ours day out.

2011-06-24T19:15:00.009+08:00

Semalam i pergi KLCC with my ex-roomate,Farha nabilla! ber loitering dan shopping sampai malam.sakit kaki berjalan.well,i kenal dia masa dapat sebilik dengan dia time semester satu sahaja iaitu masa mula-mula i masuk UIA.mula-mula kenal macam 'eh.macam tak boleh nak masuk je dengan dia ni'.sebab dia macam garang.kerek juga masa i mula-mula tegur dia dulu.haha.tapi tak sangka jugak rapat dengan dia even kami kos lain pun.se busy busy i and lama tak jumpa kita masih lagi rapat.dia best! makanan yang tak habis di atas itu adalah makanan dia.bukan i punya.lepas tu dia pergi order lain pulak.still tak habis jugak.membazir je.ekeke.

ni lah mak cik bel yang makan tak habis tu. ;p then tengah-tengah jalan dekat KLCC park tu..

tiba-tiba...ada pak cik yang terdampar di tengah jambatan untuk menangkap gambar anaknya.hehe.sorry pak cik. ;)

lovely friend.

Believe.

2011-06-23T09:21:00.003+08:00

saya ada cita-cita yang saya pendam.sebab saya malu nak bagitahu dekat sini.takpe.biar ia menjadi rahsia.apa yang perlu saya lakukan ialah saya perlu berusaha untuk capai hasrat saya tu.walaupun saya rasa ianya agak mustahil.

SAYA BOLEH!

thats okay to say my heart rebels.

2011-06-21T07:46:00.010+08:00

orang kata mulakan hari pagimu dengan senyuman.okay.yes.i tengah senyum je nampak gigi yang pendek-pendek ni.

orang ada cakap jugak kalau hati tengah bengkek ke,ada masalah ke,orang bagi masalah ke senyum je.nanti kuranglah hati yang marah tu.

does it helps?

i dont know.

i used to just blurted out freely pointing out completely to other peoples fault as they were all wrong.

sabar.sabar.kau pun ada salah jugak.fikir balik.kalau tak pun,ujian lah kira,Tuhan nak bagi pahala or hapuskan dosa-dosa kau tu.

well,itulah sebab kalau nak marah-marah sekarang ni simpan dulu.suppress what i felt and try not to disclose my feelings as i do not intend to face any of repercussion.but sometimes i just let it be because i still able to compromise.however,i just couldnt bring myself to just let them be due to certain unbearable things at times until i had a chance to just say it.people hard to see i am in anger.even when people see me smiling from ear to ear,i am full of anger.but if i had a chance memang akan terkena lah semburan from me.i know people might hurt even that semburan tu macam agak berkias or sometimes i just straight to the point but still in a manner way.Truthfully,i bukan sengaja nak main cakap je dekat orang tapi sometimes we have to confide in a way to mitigate ourselves from being wondered or hurted.but still kena cakap in a manner way sebab kadang-kadang i bagi hint secara halus sehalusnya pun diorang anggap i cakap main-main siap gelak lagi mana hati tak bengkek.okay.maybe diaorang tak dapat baca apa yang i tengah cuba untuk sampaikan sebab diaorang nak i cakap straight to the point.okay there you go.sorry.i have to.i am not a person who says things to people but when i went ahead i started to feel as i am the rudest person alive.

and forget it.i am just gonna deal with you if only i have a matter with you next time.

i get touched easily.seriously.and i really really really hate to be that way.usually i will keep quiet,crying inside to the fact that i must face and accept the reality.its hard.it feels like i am carrying all the weight of the world on my shoulder trying to lift it up.

for most of the time, i am not type of fun person to be around.i dislike people who suka to cakap-cakap pedas or in other words sindir.perli in a harsh way that is because i cant take harsh words as i am sensitive.tu sebab i lebih suka berkawan dengan orang yang diam-diam(tak lah diam sangat).a mild i should say.

okay now i can smile.

freely.

forget about the past.

completely.

wedding of the year. ;)

2011-06-18T18:26:00.006+08:00

Okay.sweet tak pengantin ni? Hari tu ada post entry pasal mereka bertunang.hari ini pulak kahwin.Agak excited jugak sebab this is my first cousin among the cousins yang melangsungkan perkahwinan.kak Fathiyyah sangat berseri-seri nampaknya bersama suaminya,Khairy Zainal.dua-dua UIA jugak.bakal-bakal engineer yang berjaya.hihi.okay.fuyoo.dah kahwin.tak percaya.tapi kena percaya jugaklah sebab dah terpampang gambar kahwin kan.time praktikal dulu kata nak belanja sampai dah kahwin tak belanja jugak.memang kena pau la lepas ni.huahua.semoga mereka bahagia dan berkekalan sampai bila-bila. Ameen.

mama dan abah.romantik juge. =D

what's left?

2011-06-14T21:37:00.007+08:00

Hey! thanks to you for giving me the idea to scratch something here.

first and foremost i would like to say sorry about the text message previously.ouh no.it was just now.a sharp pang of embarrasing just hit me when your words appeared in my phone screen.well,that is because i just get excited to have a friend like you.the one who i looked surreptitiously in the tuition class where you were so preoccupied during classes until i discreetly knew your name.

but it was our during secondary school.it happened in the middle age of fifteen turning into sixteen until i quited.eventually,it just stopped there.just a few times i spotted into you when i was in the car while you were keep on pacing forward which i ain't got no idea to know where you were heading to.

Recently,Facebook is one of the websites to communicate with friends and oftenly to be used in finding your old folks or friends which you never talk to but you know her or his existance.i was inadvertently found your page through my friend and decided to just added you.

i was demanding to know you more by looking at your albums until i found the album where you studied in Islamic school previously.i even read your note which entitled Ruang.it was mesmerized me when your teacher had told you to be careful with us.women.and that was the reason you were behaving like you are now.good for you.you even had a chance to learn deeply about the dos and don'ts as well as learning deeply in Islamic subjects.it was an advantage for the school you were in where the environment did not endorse students to wander around until they were decided to mingle with the opposite gender as long as did not across the borderline.but some did.thats normal.

i even want to heed my wish to know more pertaining what you have learnt in your school from you,yourself but i think the chance seems to remote.so forget about it.

i can learn form others and extract the lessons from others too and not to forget in executing them as well.insyaAllah.

thank you friend.

hiding.

2011-06-11T00:11:00.001+08:00

part of me wanting to know who is she. *chuckle

palm to palm.

2011-06-09T23:07:00.005+08:00

i know 'thing' keeps on throbbing in your mind because nothing can distract you from thinking about it.you feel the pain.i was about know nothing on how to talk to you.sometimes both of you seem like to be a fiery one.strange sense appeared when i tried to halt and grease the wheel back. i apologise for my failure.but i never cease from asking Him for you.for 6 of us.i love you.

p/s: i am in agitate state.i dont want things to be in tatters.let alone talk about it.

say cheese!

2011-06-04T11:58:00.004+08:00

yeepppieeee!

Alhamdulillah.It is imperative for me to tell you guys where last night was really an eventful day for me as all family members were gathered at our beloved house since my sister was just arrived home safely last night from her college fought for her future for a month! I was waiting for this moment to gather again where we actually used to.during the middle night when our parents were sleeping soundly,four of us were swapping stories and laughing when it came to the funny part until 4 am which really enthralled each of us.

today we are going back to hometown for three days.i havent gone to my beloved hometown this year and i have to confide That i am missing the hometown ambience!

KUALA KANGSAR! HERE WE COME!

not to be tough,yet to be firm.

2011-05-21T00:56:00.006+08:00

this is what i do everyday.curi dumbbell my brother.paling malas pun buat 10kali pun cukup.oh jangan tinggal lah sit up.jaga perut.jaga perut wey.

restrain.

2011-05-13T01:32:00.000+08:00

believing is seeing.

shun the worries.

2011-05-12T08:59:00.001+08:00

kenapa tak ambik short sem?

bukan tak nak ambik.dah subjects yang i nak add manually dah penuh and lecturers bagi privilege dekat seniors la mostly sebab subjects yang i nak ambik ni termaju sikit.tapi takde lah maju mana.

lagipun mind dah set macam tak nak ambik pun sangat.kalau dapat i will grab the opportunity.kalau tak dapat i undur diri dulu.

sebenarnya i nak rest.i want to rejuvenate myself untuk beberapa bulan.

to be truth,i sebenarnya tawar hati dengan my final project baru-baru ni.bukan tawar hati dengan lecturers or siapa-siapa tapi dengan diri i sendiri.

monolog dalaman:

kenapa lemah sangat? kenapa kau tak boleh buat gempak-gempak macam orang lain yang skor tu?

aku jadi kecut perut dengan seniors yang hebat belaka tu.rasa inferior.indeed.to death.

aku cuba.aku fikir.aku amati.aku belajar.but still.its not there.

yes.still lack of knowledge.skills.

mungkin belum rezeki aku lagi.

niat nak sambung part 2 tu dah ada,tapi kalau macam ni lah result untuk design,i think the hope seems too remote.

aku teringin nak skor dalam design sekali sebelum aku grad pun jadilah.aku teringin nak rasa macam mana rasanya kalau skor.

alangkah seronoknya tengok yang hebat-hebat.asal final je gempak and mesti skor.

aku nampak diaorang struggle.aku nampak ada yang memang dah gempak.aku nampak itu rezeki yang Allah kasi.dan mungkin apa yang aku tak nampak is susah senang diaorang dan diiringi dengan doa.menangis dalam diam di sepertiga malam.mohon kepadaMu.

ahh.jannah.tengok.fikir balik.cukup ke usaha kau sebelum-sebelum ni? dan mungkin belum rezeki kau lagi.Allah tu Maha Adil.kalau tak dekat sini mungkin rezeki dekat tempat lain.

sabarlah yea...

walaupun sedetik.

2011-05-12T01:58:00.005+08:00

Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself. -Theodore T. Hunger

i still have soo many things to learn.i shouldnt waste my time.life is too short to waste.

Ya Allah,lindungilah hambuMu ini.hasbunallahuwani'malwakil.berikanlah hambaMu kekuatan supaya hambaMu ini sentiasa mampu untuk tersenyum dalam meneruskan perjuangan,apa jua rintangan dan apa jua ibadah dengan ikhlas hanya keranaMu...ameen.ameen ya Rabbal alamin.

kerana aku percaya Dia sentiasa berada di sisi hamba-hambaNya yang ingin melakukan kebajikan.

Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Mohonlah pertolongan ( kepada Allah) dengan sabar dan salat.Sungguh, Allah beserta orang-orang yang sabar. (Al-Baqarah,ayat 153)

selamat hari MAMA!

2011-05-08T18:16:00.016+08:00

actually i dont have any idea what am i going to give her for mother's day.i was pondering on that particular evening.i went out to some shops but i just cant find things to give her.i was thinking of buying accessories or jewelry such as bangle,necklace,watch and etc but she already owned those things.those are expensive and i cant afford to buy one of it if i was about to buy the same thing.saya mana ada duit berkepuk-kepuk.HAHA.okay.forget it.as i walked along the shops i saw clothes.but she already has soooo many baju baja.same goes for the shoes.from head to toes lah senang cerita.okay.forget it.as i passed by the restaurants i was thinking to have lunch or dinner together with family but my younger sister and brother were not available.so macam tak best.why dont if i just give her a card? ah.thats too typical.tak best.

and i went home buying nothing.

during the night,drawing and painting were suddenly popped up in my mind.yeah! why dont i just make something by my own for the gift?

and i make it! the picture above was the thing i did last night.

i also went out to buy a cake.but i dont think she manage to consume for the whole as she doesnt really like cake.plus,i am not the 'cake eater'..same goes to my dad and my youngest sister.who is going to eat the cake?

so i solely bought a few slices of cakes and brought it home.effortlessly.

SURPRISE MA!

hijab.

2011-05-07T15:06:00.023+08:00

well,i think this picture tells you what i did.

since i have nothing to do in the middle of the night.so i took out all my shawls (some were not display here since it has the same colour) from the wardrobe and arranged them just like a deceased people.it was suprising me when i realized that i have this much of shawls.pakainye idak.i like to grab a shawl when i think its nice for me even i dont have that much intention to wear it.however,they manage to allure me to wear them sometimes.for at least once.

talk about shawls,i just really like to wear plain in colour.it shows moderation.well,if you see my shawls in the picture above,3/4 of them are plain in colour.

know what guys? i used to go to kedai kain such as gulatis,tewah,nagoya then i asked the promoter to cut the fabric according to its appropiate measurement.then i go to see a tailor for hem-stich and make it as a shawl.

non plain colour shawls are also catch my eyes.

i like a geometry and stripes pattern.i love polka dots too.polka dots is one of the geometry too isn't? .floral pattern is nice to wear but in my opinion, to have a nice shawl in floral pattern,the shawl should be in a very intricate decoration.i think i have only one for that pattern.

talk about fashion of the hijab, many ladies nowadays have started to wear hijab.they learn how to wear hijab according to fashion including me.but most of the fashions do not really satisfy me in terms of the way of the shawls are pinned.it does not fully close the part that as the girls,ladies and women should close.so macam tak best.so i took out the idea and twine the shawl like i want as long as i feel the hijab has fully plays its role for every woman.

well,no matter how many lovely shawls you have but if you dont wear it properly which must in accord of Islam then it calls 'useless'.reminder for me too.

angan-angan.cita-cita.

2011-05-02T00:06:00.008+08:00

Kamu,kamu ni suka tak berangan? impikan sesuatu yang benar-benar kamu inginkan? adakah kamu berusaha ke arah itu demi mendapatkannya? sudah pasti jika kita menginginkan sesuatu kita perlu berusaha untuk memperolehinya bukan? tapi ada juga yang berangan tapi tak ada effort ke arah itu.mungkin diaorang tak berapa nak sesuatu tu kot.saja berangan-angan.suka suki aje.or maybe tak sure sebab apa-apa pun yang terjadi boleh berubah walaupun sesaat.

kalau cita-cita macam mana pula?

kalau time kecik-kecik nak jadi polis lah.cikgu lah.lepas tu kalau dah besar sikit yang gedik-gedik tu nak jadi artis lah.model lah.HAHA.macam-macam.

dulu masa i kecik-kecik nak jadi cikgu.

lepas tu ada juga berhajat untuk jadi penyanyi beb! sebab time sekolah rendah masuk persembahan nyanyian.nyanyi ramai-ramai lagu burung tiong.kalau tak menang pun sagu hati pun jadilah.HAHA.

lepas tu nak jadi pelakon sebab berlakon ni best.i penah masuk sketsa sempena hari bahasa melayu time sekolah rendah.i jadi pesawah.so pergilah cari baju nenek untuk dipakai dengn kain batik dengan kain batik di balutnya atas kepala.

i pernah juga nak jadi pelukis.sebab dulu i minat sangat lukis.lukis gambar kartun.masa i form 1 i selalu mintak mama belikan sketchbook.kalau dah habis beli lagi.

lama-lama i lukis gambar perempuan dengan bermacam-macam fashion pulak.

so teringin nak jadi fashion designer.lama jugak impian tu terbuku untuk menjadi fashion designer.

dekat sekolah i sangat aktif dalam bersukan.sukan sumpah best.sampai muka,kaki,tangan terbakar.memang berlegam.terbaik sungguh.HAHA.

kalau masuk untuk training apa-apa selalu i dapat.masuk lompat jauh,lompat tinggi,lari berpagar,lari pecut 100m,200m,batten 4x100,4x200.

sampai fikir tak nak belajar sebab nak jadi atlet.bila dah sekolah menengah,umur pun kian meningkat i was not really into sports already.

dah retired dah.tua dah.HAHA.

tapi melukis tu i still minat.entah macam mana entah dari darjah 6 lagi memang teringin nak jadi arkitek.tapi berminat untuk menjadi interior designer juga terselit.well,even i tak tahu pun arkitek ni kerja macam mana semua.yang tahu buat bangunan.

sampailah i form 4 and form 5 i amek subject reka cipta.

bila cikgu tanya kenapa awak amek reka cipta?

i pun jawablah 'sebab saya nak jadi arkitek'

so,melekatlah cita-cita tu sampai i dapat tawaran belajar kos alam bina dekat uia.

masa tu rasa macam i got what i want.macam dapat sewenang-wenangnya.bukan i bangga.bukan.tapi i rasa macam i nak jadi arkitek dari darjah enam tu sampai lah sekarang tu macam i dapat.

mungkin tu petunjuk yang Allah bagi masa dulu.melalui gerak hati mungkin.

TETAPI, ia bukanlah semudah yang i sangka.banyak kerja wey.tak tidur tu biasa sangatlah.tak mandi tu pun biasa juga.lepas tu i ingat designs ni senang je.rupa-rupanya banyak prosesnya.nak tunjuk design kita dekat lecturer (client) kena ada semua benda which must complete bagi diaorang faham as in all the plans,elevations,perspectives,sections,interiors perspectives,construction details,the model,and workbook.lepas tu skill untuk convincekan diaorang pun kena ada supaya diaorang terpengaruh dengan design kita.WA!HA!HA! (gelak jahat kejap)

nak dapat ilham tu actually kena banyak berfikir.harap jangan lah botak kepala and also have to do lottttttssss of research.kadang-kadang kita pun ada tahap kemalasan and kepenatannya kan.buat research pun sikit-sikit je.mana nak dapat bagus.haih.tapi nak berjaya.tapi tak nak usaha secara maksimum pulak.

kadang-kadang,bukan kadang-kadang tapi setiap kali present depan lecturer mesti ada punyalah yang tek kena.mesti.tu sebab kena persiapkan diri dengan berbagai persoalan yang bakal dihadapi.tapi macam mana nak menjawab persoalan-persoalan tu?

jawapannya learn more.kenalah rajin belek-belek buku.internet.internet pun facebook je yang lebih.controlling is hard.*sigh.

i should learn more.selagi ada peluang grab peluang tu.i akan cuba.nangis pun nangis lah.lepastu teruskan perjuangan.i hope i can do that.sebab kadang-kadang rasa nak give up.lantak lah.apa nak jadi jadilah and i hate that to be happened.kadang-kadang rasa i dah cukup kuat dari segi mental and fizikal untuk hadapi benda-benda ni,tapi hakikatnya tidak sama sekali and i shouldnt continue with this kind of behaviour.sabar and doa banyak-banyak ye jannah.

'kalau nak senang baik tak payah ambik architecture!' sentap lecturer i kepada i.

okay then.

worth the wait.

2011-04-26T02:16:00.010+08:00

I used to look outside of the windows right after executed my prayer.scrutinize the trees,hill,chirpping birds and sky where those remind me of how greatful Allah is.

sometimes its burst me into tears realizing of how weak i was.

sometimes the feeling of wanting to cry just want to pour it out right there but i just cant find the right word to describe my feelings.

the way you act leads me to remind of Allah.i always consistently strive to care about myself for the one who has the right for me.

you teach me to relinquish everything to Allah.

you teach me how to be a good people as a muslim perhaps mukmin.

you teach me how to be sincere ,to be strong in life as well as the meaning of life is all about.

not solely for dunya but as well as in hereafter.

who is that 'you?' i would say i don't even know your name.

I feel blessed with this life.not knowing you now was never be a big mistake because you'll find me sooner or later or someday.

i will wait.

awake and i did these.

2011-04-21T21:37:00.017+08:00

gambar di atas adalah gula! less sugar please.

After solat subuh,tiba-tiba perut pun berbunyi menandakan perut i kosong meronta-ronta menginginkan makanan.so,i pergilah ke dapur minum air bliss strawberry and kismis sambil menonton tv9,ada ceramah pasal 'istidraj'.sebelum scroll ke bawah tengok gambar-gambar memasak tu,i nak share sikit pasal topik istidraj.

apakah itu istidraj?

ianya adalah pemberian nikmat Allah kepada manusia yang mana pemberian itu tidak diredhaiNya.

Rasullulah s. a.w. bersabda :"Apabila kamu melihat bahawa Allah Taala memberikan nikmat kepada hambanya yang selalu membuat maksiat (durhaka),ketahuilah bahawa orang itu telah diistidrajkan oleh Allah SWT."

(Diriwayatkan oleh At-Tabrani, Ahmad dan Al-Baihaqi)

bahayanya.sebab ustaz tu cakap kadang-kadang kita tak sedar yang kita sedang di istidraj.

okay.contohnya kalau dalam konteks kita sebagai pelajar di mana kita berjaya.dapat keputusan cemerlang.kita fikir itu adalah usaha dari kita.kita pandang rendah terhadap orang yang tak dapat keputusan bagus tu. kita tengok orang tu usaha bagai nak rak tapi keputusan tak bagus pun.tapi aku ni belajar macam tu macam tu je.tapi dengan izin Allah aku berjaya dengan cemerlang.kita fikir Allah kasih kepada kita.tetapi hakikatnya kita sedang di istidraj.

satu lagi contoh

Manusia istidraj - Manusia yang lupa daratan.Walaupun berbuat maksiat,dia merasa Allah menyayanginya.Mereka memandang hina kepada orang yang beramal."Dia tu siang
malam ke masjid,basikal pun tak mampu beli, sedangkan aku ke kelab malam pun dengan kereta mewah.Tak payah beribadatpun,rezeki datang mencurah-curah.Kalau dia tu sikit ibadat tentu boleh kaya macam aku, katanya sombong."Sebenarnya,kadang-kadang Allah memberikan nikmat yang banyak dengan tujuan untuk menghancurkannya.

bahayakan?

tu sebab kita kena sentiasa ingat Dia.bersyukur atas pemberianNya.jangan kufur nikmat.kerana nikmat itu mungkin boleh bertukar kepada istidraj.Allah ingin menguji kita sejauh mana kita bergantung kepadaNya.sejauh mana Iman di dada.

jangan terpedaya dengan nikmat di dunia kerana nikmat yang sebenar-benarnya dan yang kekal hanyalah di syurga kelak.di syurga.

biarlah kita dipandang biasa-biasa sahaja oleh manusia-manusia di dunia ni.tapi di sisi Allah amatlah tinggi darjatnya.seronok kan? =')

Kadang-kadang kita merasakan dengan ujian yang amat berat untuk kita tanggung adalah tujuan Dia hendak menghina kita.Tidak.ketahuilah Allah sebenarnya ingin mengangkat darjat kita kelak.
i tersentuh apabila kawan usrah i cakap 'tak ramai orang yang nak bangun tahajud.sebab susah.amat berat untuk kita lakukan dan Allah setiap malam turun mencari hamba-hambaNya yang mencariNya.
MashaAllah.alangkah seronoknya kalau dapat buat macam tu selalu.cinta Allah takkan mendapat kekesalan.tapi cinta manusia sentiasa berubah-ubah sehingga kekesalan sahaja yang mampu di peroleh.jadi mengapa kita mencari-cari cinta manusia yang kita tak tahu pun dapat ke tak?'

ha.itu satu hal lagi yang bergelora di hati.

Ya Allah..ampunilah hambaMu ini..

dekat bawah ni adalah gambar-gambar untuk membuat chocolate mousse.

1. melted chocolate and whipping cream

2.egss dan syrup (boiled of sugar and water)

campurkan ke (1dan 2) by using whisk.

tuang ke dalam bekas.

masukkan je dalam peti ais untuk seketika waktu.

Done!

lepas je buat chocolate mousse ni,i pergi cycling sampai agak-agak dah lenjun baju.about an hour non stop.baru puas hati.then petang after asar keluar sorang nak beli barang sikit and sempat lah curi-curi masa untuk bershopping kejap.

well,tomorrow my younger brother will be going back.sebulan budak handsome tu tak balik rumah.sampai cakap minggu depan balik padahal minggu satu lagi.tersilap tarikh.tak sabar punya pasal.lusa my younger sister yang cun tu pulak balik rumah.lepas tu jom shopping! lagi. =)

taking back my pieces.

2011-04-17T00:53:00.014+08:00

Gambar di atas adalah ketika i berumur tiga tahun.yang sebelah kiri tu adik i zawani yang berumur dua tahun.semua orang kata dia comel.i tak de pulak pun orang nak kata comel.sadis betul.haha.

zaman kecik-kecik ni yang seronok sebab apa nak dapat je.nak makan,mama suapkan.nak mainan kalau mama tak bagi,abah belikan.seronok dan mudahkan kalau jadi budak kecik? haha.however, umur pun makin meningkat dari tahun ke tahun.masa i tadika i selalu dapat perhatian daripada cikgu-cikgu di kindergarten sebab i sorang je melayu.yang i tahu cakap yes,no,lepas tu nyanyi lagu spider web and i understood what they are saying.masa i sekolah rendah sumpah macam budak-budak ganeh.tau dok ganeh? panjat pokok petang-petang.lepas tu main baling-baling selipar.erk.tu je kot yang ganeh.yang lain semua perempuan-perempuan punya mainan je.heh.masa darjah 3 english i selalu dapat seratus lepas tu teacher nak i jadi librarian.tapi tak jadi sebab i berpindah sekolah.masa i sekolah rendah i sangat aktif dalam sukan juga sampai result teruk gila.lepas tu sorok result bawah katil.bila abah dapat tahu,abah marah.abah dulu garang gila.kalau buat latihan lepas tu tak tahu nak jawab i fikir dua tiga kali nak tanya ke tak.kalau tanya lepas tu abah ajar lepas tu still tak faham lagi siaplah kau.sampailah darjah enam nak upsr.terus jadi senyap kot.sebab tahun peperiksaan besar.lepas tu jadi penolong ketua pengawas pula.asyik bergaduh je dengan si ketua pengawas di mana dia yang suka mencari pasal.haha.

naik sekolah menengah macam biasa lah.ragam remaja pula.kalau nak beli baju mesti kena pergi dengan mama sebab i tak tahu pilih baju.mama cakap 'nanti awak beli baju pendek-pendek.ketat-ketat' 'orang lain boleh je pakai macam tu?' i asked.masa tu macam nak marah.tertanya-tanya kenapala mama tak kasi. lepas tu mama cakap 'mama dulu opah tak kasi pakai seluar pun tau?' lepas tu nak keluar pun mama fikir banyak kali nak bagi i keluar ke tak.nak masuk boarding school pun parents tak kasi.sumpah.rasa nak rebel.sampai lah at one point ni baru i faham kenapa mama tak kasi.nak jaga anak perempuan macam jaga 1 kandang kambing tahu? betapa susahnya nak jaga.itu kasih seorang ibu.bersyukurlah dapat mak macam mama.lepas tu tuition sana sini mama lah yang hantar ambil pagi petang malam.okay sekarang i nak masuk 21 this year.insyaAllah.okay.tak percaya jugak.kalau dah puluh puluh punya number jangan beranganlah nak jadi remaja lagi.aiyoo.

me,abah and wani

my 3rd birthday celebration!

Semoga Allah panjangkan umurku and istiqamah beribadat kepadaNya.

hidup ni terlalu singkat untuk disia-siakan.be a modest people.always attach with Allah wherever,whenever you are and you will be the happiest people in the world.

lahap itu makan.

2011-04-14T01:43:00.007+08:00

After habis je exam history semalam which was the last last last paper terus jumpa.

subaihah ' eh.jomlah makan-makan dekat mana-mana.nak jumpa korang ni.saja nak lepak-lepak dengan korang.'

So,tadi pergilah makan dekat johnny.makan-makan je.tak shopping pun.sebab orang cakap kalau makan,makan betul-betul.kalau shopping,shopping betul-betul.ha.tengoklah i shopping esok-esok.nak tunggu adik-adik balik shopping spree dengan mereka! misses you guys! cepat balik aaa wey.

Aida makan memang khusyuk.lapak.faham.faham.lol.

i lahap nasi dulu before lahap steamboat itu.

Subaihah.oops! control.control.

Aida yang tak henti-henti melahap.eh.tu telur tiruan! ;p guys! check dulu before makan.tahu tak sekarang ada telur tiruan? gila lah manusia sekarang ni.semua nak untung.materialisitic betul.haish.

Anyways,thank you very much for being my friend.susah senang kita bersama.you guys helped me a lot throughout the semester.now exam dah habis.tak lama lagi naik lah second year dah.kejap betul masa berlalu.wish everything going to be fine sampailah dah grad nanti.susah senang ingat Dia.sabar.usaha yang terbaik dan doa.harap ujian yang diberi olehNya mampu mentarbiyah diri. chill out guys! happy holidays!

heartbeat.

2011-04-11T00:54:00.002+08:00

i am not clinging but im waiting.

is that contributes the same meaning?

i better ask myself.

lalala.

2011-03-29T05:27:00.003+08:00

lupakan sahaja perihal itu.

alahaiii....exam lagi seminggu ni.tak baca apa-apa lagi ni.sebenarnya tak sabar nak cuti and nak enjoy puas-puas.shopping itu wajib lah.macam tak biasa je.

oh..exammmmmsss... -.-"""

p/s: tengah dengar lagu adam lambert-aftermath. best jugak.

tetiba aje.

2011-03-25T09:21:00.003+08:00

it reminds me about the past as i watched a disney cartoon.a donald duck cartoon where i had participated the kelab disney malaysia drawing and colouring contest when i was young.i sent it to them.i nailed it.they showed my work in tv3.but i dont get the prize.heh.

for the month.

2011-03-21T23:35:00.010+08:00

Alhamdulillah.presentation pun sudah selesai setelah 2 minggu lebih tidur memang tak cukup buat drawings and model for individual.final project.ni baru buat vacation home belum lagi buat bangunan yang besar-besar macam library,hospital ke..oh my God.sooo risau.project ni pun macam dah separuh hidup ke mati tak tahu la ni kan pulak nanti kena design bangunan yang macam besar-besar ni.tapi buat benda ni seronok.drawings,sketching,colouring but i dont like the model part.tak suka buat model.

well,ni yang nak bercerita ni.actually i dont know about how the architecture students works in tertiery level.dengar my uncle said you kalau nak design rumah nak letak toilet dekat belah kanan pun boleh.letak belah kiri pun boleh.kalau assessor tanya you must have justification why did you put your toilet here instead of here?
aaa...jangan nganga sahaja.jawab saje.tu sebab setiap kali nak design rumah,nak bahagi space kena fikir kenapa letak bilik ni dekat sini.kenapa dekat situ.how did you get the form of this building? kenapa guna materials ini? dinding berapa tebal? what is the c-channel term?what is the purposes? and bla bla bla...

today is the presentation day for the final project.Alhamdulillah.even ada minor mistakes but i bersyukur and i expected that i'll be dead meat masa presentation nanti.but not really into dead meat as i expected.phewww....but along the way before todays event there were so many things happened.i suddenly received a warning letter from the lecturer but in fact i was just absent for a day due to fatigue doing autocad project for the whole day.almost.until dawn.maybe it is because of the attendance issue where i inadvertently not to sign the attendance for at least twice.

along the design process i almost received bad comments and some were good comments from lecturers regarding my design until i decided to change my design for many times and my friends were more advanced than me where they already started to draw elevations and sections! and im soooo worried.down.stressed.i know nobody will help me instead of me.if i dont help myself who else?!

last week was the minggu drawings ulang-alik studio.home.and my friends room.but not in my room dekat mahalah tu.i dont like it because i hate to be alone.but i did the presentation boards mostly at the studio.but not in my studio sebab space nak buat kerja pun tak berapa nak ada and rasa macam ter physco tengok macam semua dah start buat plan lah.elevations lah.sections lah.perspective lah.interior perseective lah.construction drawing lah.lagi-lagi studio sebelah ada yang dah siap.tunggu nak touch up je.lagi laa stressed di situ until i decided to do at aad (applied arts design) studio.tenang.tak de orang sangat and i did all my drawings and colouring in that studio and tak nak ikut orang.nanti tension.as long as i know what im doing dah cukup.
tapi macam terkejut jugak i done with the drawings and have inked them but when i came to my studio to have a look some of them were still drawing.okay.cepat jugak aku ni.ke ada aku tertinggal apa-apa drawings? cuak jugak.

on the last friday,i was from home to get my laptop and dslr which is going to be used today.but i decided to bring my laptop and not to bring my camera since i'll be going back this weekend.as i arrived to kaed,architectural kulliyyah around 9pm i decided to carry my laptop to the studio for references whilst doing the boards.i stayed up until morning.All the drawings are to be submitted on that particular day around 11am to 1pm.

around 7 to 8 in the morning i decided to keep my unused belongings such as my laptop,model and some of architectural tools for drawings in the car and i got back to the studio to touch up my boards until 12.30 and rushed to briefing room to submit.i was so hungry and sleepy gila.but i have to fill up my belly before tidur mati nanti or else i'll have stomachace due to gastric.so i when out to jj wangsa maju macam biasa makan dekat food court and starbucks and went back to uia to sleep! tak tahan dah and i realised ada benda bergegar-gegar dalam kereta and i thought it was pembaris besi i letak dekat belakang.okay and ....aida sempat lagi shopping.i was like -.-' sampai duduk dekat kaki lima tepi-tepi baju tu tunggu dia pilih baju.
on the way back to uia,suddenly the car was getting slower and slower.
aida: hey! bangunlah!
me: oh! (okay i was asleep) gila.nasib baik tak langgar divider.
as i arrived to mahalah,apa lagi..tidur sampai petang.and balik rumah untuk completekan model pulak 100%.okay penat.

on my way home,abah called me asked me to join them for dinner in melawati.so i fetch my brother from home and still ada bunyi macam begegar-gegar dekat belakang and suddenly i just realised the indication shows the door or bonet kereta kot yang tak tutup rapat.so i asked my little brother affan to close it tightly but failed.i thought it was damage somewhere which averts to close it well.then i asked him to take out my laptop takut terbang pulak laptop tu pulak.
then he said : tak de pun?
me: adalah dekat belakang tu..
affan: takdelah!

and i got out of the car and scrabble to find my laptop but my model and my tools were still there until i realised my laptop has been stolen!
i was yelling all of sudden.shocked.startled and i just really dont know what to do.
i quickly called my friend,ezzwan to tell him as i texted him on that paticular time.i drove macam semua benda nak langgar because i was shocked and cant believe it.my vaio laptop complete with the charger,mouse,the bag and my dslr memory card were all there!
i dont know how to tell my parents until abah called me to ask where am i now.i was crying and told him finally.as i arrived my parents didnt say anything and asked me to eat.i know..they dont want me to get into pressure more as i have final project now.but i dont have appetite to eat.perut yang lapar gila terus tak rasa lapar.

mama: dah lah..dah tak de rezeki awak la tu.dah hilang nak buat macamana.

tergamakkan mencuri hak orang?tak malu ke? miskin sangat ke? tak takut kena seksa ke? dah lah mencuri.gunakan kunci where that kunci tu hak Allah jugak then kau buat untuk perkara haram.kunci tu pun tak suka kau sebab kau gunakan dia untuk benda haram.then rosakkan kunci bonet kereta.lepas tu menyusahkan orang.lepas tu menyusahkan mak bapak orang pulak.dah berapa banyak dosa dah kau dapat? insaflah.stoplah mencuri ni.kau makan duit haram je.tak berkat hidup.
i have to say this.i cant keep it anymore.

archi life.it is inevitable.

2011-03-12T07:07:00.010+08:00

ragam pelajar-pelajar architecture ketika final design. 1. 'haih.mengantuk gila..' 2. dekat status facebook ' bekerja siang dan malam tanpa henti' 3. time dekat kelas 'aku tak mandi lagi ni,tak sempat ni baju semalam ni'' 4. 'habis gam lekat-lekat dekat tangan,aiyooo'lagi-lagi ketika ingin mengambil wuduk. 5. 'weh,kau dah siap drawings banyak ke?' 6. 'model dah siap?' 7. 'nak pakai baju apa yea? haa.pakai jela baju apa-apa. 8. ramai tak datang kelas. 9. ramai yang tidur dah dalam kelas. 10.mata jadi zombie. 11. 'rasa nak tukar kos la' 12. bukak laptop masing-masing pasang lagu kuat-kuat,banyak-banyak lagu dah jadi macam keling. 13. dengar dekat headphone,earphone sambil syok sendiri buat design. 14.'nak tidur kejap.nanti tolong kejutkan lagi 10minit.' 15.pergi surau kaed ramai-ramai terbongkang sampai kadang-kadang tak de space nak solat. 16. 'tak nak pergi kelas history boleh tak?' 17.'study circle malam ni la.hafazan.dah hafal dah?' 18.' lapar la.siapa nak order mcd?.'kejap lagi berduyun-duyun orang nak order. 19.studio panas waktu malam.air cond tak bukak.hot betull...haishh. 20.'Siapa ambik T-square aku ni?' ( beli baru okay yang berharga rm44 sebab hilang and meleding)

i havent sleep for the whole day (macam tak biasa pulak).now dah pukul 7.29 am.i need to sleep for a while.zzZZ. -.-

mama.

2011-03-01T18:57:00.005+08:00

To the woman i loved most,

Deep in your heart is hoping for us to success in life.you cry inside where nobody knows how much you love us and now we've grown up staying away where no one of us have been far away from you until we reached to tertiery level excluded our one beloved brother who went to boarding school yesterday.same goes to my younger sister who will study abroad soon insyaAllah.not to forget to my dearest youngest sister who is still in primary school.. now it is your turn to study smart and prove it that you can excel.we always pray for you to be the happiest woman and a wife to our dad in dunya and akhirah with bless.
i know you've been suffering a lot.please don't cry.be strong.we hope to see you in a pink of health someday.
love you mama.

from your daughter,
with love.JannahReduan. =')

you.yes you.

2011-03-01T12:44:00.005+08:00

i try to restrain from texting you everyday.someday.this is because i love you.yeah.you may see that im cool but in fact pretending that it was okay yet deep in my heart im weeping of missing you.i miss you..

to: E*****
from: J

bumi Dia.

2011-02-27T00:55:00.004+08:00

after a week preoccupied on autocad sahaja because i just installed autocad on the last sunday and the autocad assignment have to be submitted on thursday supposely yet half of the class didnt manage to finish up so to be postpone on friday.okay gila.isnin tidur lepas subuh.selasa tidur pukul 4 pagi.rabu pun sama.khamis pun after subuh and pengsan after subuh tu.tak larat and tak pergi studio pun pagi tu sebab design progress pun tak bergerak.so i think it wasting my time to come to studio.kalau datang pun kepala tersengguk-sengguk nak tidur buat apa.baik tidur.so tidur sampai tengahari and after jumaat prayer print autocad and tunjuk dekat brother to recheck and reprint and submit on this coming monday.

okay end of the story.

today i went out with my little brother to KLCC and pavilion as usual.like i said i need to rejuvenate myself by shopping! its a must and my brother bought his second mercurial.tamak.so on our way to KLCC then to pavilion and to KLCC back i was soo angry.upset when i looked on todays phenomenon.social case has been rampant and i hate to see that.sometimes some of them are proud of doing something prohibited while some of them were looked at me proudly by doing those things which really disgusting me and i dont even look at them.hati sakit-sabar-ingat Allah.i tak kata semua.maybe family upbringing tu bermula daripada situ.their parents should play an important role in this.some of them bagus.i tak marah tapi sedih.dunia ni sementara je.sementara.sengsara menanti di hadapan.

tu orang cakap.hidayah yang Allah bagi tu tak semua dapat.hanya orang yang tertentu sahaja.jadi, bila dah dapat tu jagalah betul-betul.

macammana nak tahu kita dapat hidayah ke tak?

senang sahaja.mungkin ia bermula daripada hati.hati yang ingin yang berubah ke arah kebaikan.buat perkara-perkara yang baik ke.hati bebas daripada titik-titik hitam.or maybe terlintas nak tutup aurat ke.then try to strive untuk kekalkan hidayah yang Allah bagi tu.once hidayah tu pergi... rugi.

arkitektur.

2011-02-20T01:09:00.007+08:00

IT IS NOT EASY TO BE AN ARCHITECT.ARCHITECT IS ABOUT TO DESIGN A BUILDING WHICH MUST CONSIDERS ALL THINGS INTO ACCOUNT.

tolonglah.penat ni.wahai otak,sila berjalan dengan lancar ye.

stop agonize the past.

2011-02-19T00:14:00.004+08:00

My crit 2 was just so bad.im dreaming of wanting to do the best but thing turns in opposite way.why?
okay.i shouldnt ask this silly question.the reason is me.im doing it and im the one who is going to get back of what i have done.i should push myself and maximise my effort on this final project but at the same time the self-confidence is not there.

footprints in the sand.

2011-02-13T13:12:00.004+08:00

yesterday was a sleepless night for me and my other three beloved friends.they are staying at my home doing the final project.now i am trying to complete my mock up in detail ready to consult with the lecturers and seniors tomorrow insyaAllah since im not really good.still vaguely know how,what,why and etc regarding the building.i am still learning and try my best in a way to achieve my target. and 'dont care about what people may say about you.'
nak kata mencapap ke apa-apa pun takpe as long as i know what im doing.

kepada the one who i really admire,i think i should stop this feeling.sedih kot.bila kita admire dekat someone tapi nak dia rasa benda yang sama tapi rasa macam benda tu takkan jadi.tapi macammana?

ah.whatever.studio talk for the time being.focus! focus!

ingat Dia.

and i need space and time to rejuvenate myself.after this.planning of going out this evening.nak shopping la..hadoy.

tu manusia namanya.

2011-02-10T09:00:00.004+08:00

kenapa lately ni kelopak mata belah kanan ni asyik berdenyut-denyut je?
ada orang kata nanti anda akan menangis? oh no.i hate to weep.
ah.sudah.jangan percaya benda-benda mengarut ituh.

but kalau menangis lepas tu mesti lega.sebab ia mengeluarkan sejenis chemical yang tak berapa bagus dalam diri kita.tapi tak tahu la apa benda chemical tu.i forgot the name.tu sebab orang cakap kalau nak nangis, nangis je.ada yang cakap, 'biarkan dia nangis puas-puas'.(bunyi cam ayat jahat je) haha.
jangan salah sangka.kadang-kadang orang lain tengok lepas tu dia biar je tengok korang menangis tu bukan sebab mereka ignorance tetapi terlebih concern kepada anda dengan membiarkan chemical itu keluar dalam diri anda.

but people need someone to be pampered pulak kan.

oh manusia.manusia.

engagement day.

2011-02-04T18:33:00.013+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS KAK FATHIYYAH!

Yaw! pagi tadi i pergi shah alam untuk menghadiri majlis pertunangan cousin i.She graduated from uia since the last october 2010 ,bachelor of mechatronic engineering.She's my first cousin yang telah mengikat tali pertunangan bersama khairy zainal yang merupakan pelajar engineering uia juga.kenal time belajar ye.dulu masa baru-baru kenal ejek mengejek.lama-lama ejekan tu dah jadi lain macam je.oopss! haha.tup tup dah tunang.well,she's turning 25 this year.anyway,you look gorgeous sista! tahniah again!

relatives

My dad asked me ' nurul jannah.orang dah sibuk nak bertunang dah.awak bila lagi?' (nada gurau)..huahua.

my friend asked me 'when are you going to find someone to be your soulmate?'

'tak macam awal lagi ke?' i asked.

my friend cakap 'hello.you are not 14 year-old okay.you are turning 21 this year.awal lagi you cakap?'

'entah.macam awal lagi je.' i said.

then my friend asked me 'then,kalau AWAL LAGI you tu bila nak carinya?'

i said 'i dont know.orang tua-tua cakap belajar bagi habis dulu.that's why rasa macam awal lagi.'

then he said 'apa lurus sangat you ni.i mean start to know someone better la.okay.kalau habis belajar 23 to 24 and baru nak start mencari,nak kenal dia lagi.bukan kejap je because you are going to live with him for your whole lifetime.26 maybe baru nak kahwin.anak lagi.by 30 its not good to have a baby anymore'

okay.sampai macam tu sekali dia fikir.haha.

my dad have told me last time 'take care of yourself.pray to Him.they will look for you.nanti abah doa dekat raudhah supaya dapat suami yang baik.insyaAllah.'he said whilst closing his eyes.okay.i can see he really means it.
suddenly my heart started to heave reminded me of someone who i vaguely know who he is.siapalah dia yea.maybe now he's at the mosque praying.maybe he's reciting Al-Quran.maybe he's crying whilst praying to Him for the sins he did hoping He will forgive him.subhanallah.
and i wish it was you.

am i in love? siapa? nak cari budak architecture jugak boleh tak? haha.

wakaf.

2011-02-01T22:20:00.019+08:00

we were doing the report

my team

nami sedang memahat.go go nami!

aidi yang aidi.

syazrin yang sedang mengetuk-ngetuk

from left: fatin,hidayah and subaihah.

shahmir.adakah anda tercekik?

shellac time

shellac was my job as i dah booked nak shellackan.haha.

thats why gambar i je time shellac ni.haha.

proses melicinkan kayu.

pemasangan tanggam ke tanggam pun bermula.susah kot.sebab ada yang terbesarlah.terkecikla.nak guna paku memanglah diharamkan so we used baji as an alternative in order to solve this problem.

grinning from ear to ear. =)

Alhamdulillah.kami pelajar architecture yang tabah gitu telah menyiapkan assignment as we were assigned to design a wakaf atau lebih di kenali sebagai gazebo pada masa yang telah di tetapkan.iaitu pada 25hb.memang letih.mengantuk.pagi.petang.malam.tengah malam.tengah pagi.dengan studio on monday but we manage to complete it! yeay! we started our work on saturday as the kayu kayan pun dapat on thursday if im not mistaken which was on 20th of january.thanks a lot to you guys especially guys who preoccupied in cutting,pahating the kayuss.you guys did very well.the most important is kukuh.thats the main point.

makan bagi sihat.

2011-01-31T22:50:00.008+08:00

i used to eat these during cuti semester dulu and i should continue this kind of menu up to now.can i?

okay.sekarang i ada masa untuk bercuti selama seminggu.ingat seminggu sahaja.macam-macam boleh buat tahu? contoh?
contohnya shopping,hang out dengan kawan-kawan terutamanya yang nak pergi abroad then,boleh tidur lama-lama.i know.ini sudah melampau.sikit-sikit dah la kan.
then,tak lupa juga dengan design,bcm,history,ungs,ess,study circle. (rasa macam semua subjects je ada kerja) okay tak pe.now kena adjust masa.harap jalanlah kerja daku ini.

dan tidak lupa juga dengan duduk di rumah yang macam agak best asyik nak makan je and i ate lots of chocolates recently.saya tak nak gemuk! escpecially di bahagian muka.oh.no.please.stop it.so today im back to my routine which before this semester started where i constantly ate oat with milk,yogurt,tomatoes and rice daily.at least.sebab i perut nasi.orang melayu sejati.haha.so semalam pergi beli all those things to be eaten.

p/s: wait.can i just said that i have shovel a small box of chocolate truffles wall's selection ice cream and chocolate cream chip from starbucks today? -.-"

counting days.

2011-01-09T22:57:00.007+08:00

1. wants to be expert in autocad.
2. wants to be intelligent.
3. architecture part THREE.
4. new watch.
5. honda.
6. be a modest people.
7. get a boyfriend.
8. no egoistic.
9. drive laju-laju.
10. fashion.
11. matured.
12. cool.
13. smile.smile.smile.
14.mekah.
15.australia again.
16.wants too see mama and sister in a good health.
17.pray for happy family.
18.stop thinking of unnecessary things.
19.stand with all the criticsm.i dont care.
20.be more expressive.
21.be straight to the point.
22.treat my family.
23.be active.
24.drive to KLCC often.not by LRT.
25.high self-esteem

thank you Allah.

2011-01-03T18:44:00.003+08:00

today 3rd of january 2011! now baru terfikir tahun baru dah masuk setelah sibuk memikirkan kerja-kerja ku.(puyus sebentar).Alhamdulillah.projek part 2 dah pun berakhir but i totally forgot to bring my camera.how can i forget?haiyoo.patutlah rasa macam 'yang ni je ke kena bawak?' ah.whatever benda dah lepas and now i have to focus on the final project which carry 60%.banyak doe.tapi takpe.just try the best and ikhlas kerana Dia.i kena ingat that words tu selalu.

okay sempena tahun baru ini walau pun lambat 3 hari i would like to wish you guys happy new yeah! keep on trying to be a good people for the sake of Allah.kalau tiba-tiba lupa diri cepat-cepat istighfar.kita ni manusia tak pergi mana-mana pun because at the end kita kembali dekat Dia jugak.so,fikir banyak kali kalau nak buat something negative in whatever things.janganlah sekadar tengok bunga api,mercun dentam dentum malam tahun baru solely for celebrating new year.tapi lihatlah.renungkan lah kehebatanNya.MashaAllah.Dia yang satu.kita masih di sini memijak bumi yang nyata.sujud syukur kepadaNya.ayuh! lakukan amal jariah.berbuatlah baik kepada ibu bapa.hormati mereka.jaga hubungan sesama manusia.jagalah hubungan dengan Allah.

kalau jatuh,bangkitlah.bukan kerana Dia kejam tapi ingin melihat sejauh mana kita bergantung padaNya.iman kita.ingat janji Allah itu syurga.

read my heart.please.

2010-12-22T15:15:00.011+08:00

To: the one who i admired.

Sometimes you urge myself to tell about what my heart says by looking at you.i like to look at you surreptitiously whenever you are in classes or in the studio doing your work.my heart shattered everytime i restrain myself for not to look at you.i always remember Him and pray to give me strength to endure this.YES.i am the one whom youre very curious to know about the gift you had received previously.i am sorry for hiding this up to now yet still yearning of letting you know.
ingatlah ALLAH selalu.(remind untuk diri sendiri)

from: your admirer.

you.

2010-12-13T21:35:00.007+08:00

rindu mama and abah sekarang since yesterday.which is the day i got into UIA for the second semester.i feel sooo scared,worried,sad,lonely and feeling of going back.i dont even have a bestfriend here.indeed because i am random to anybody.intrisically i only have friends when we're going to work out for the projects and study thangg..i'm going to call my mom.she's my bestfriend so far and forever.

'Ya Allah..please give me strength to face all these.ameen'

hijab.

2010-12-12T01:34:00.007+08:00

I am truly an ordinary person who loves into fashion.fashion itu sangat menarik kalau anda benar-benar minat.akan tetapi apabila i meningkat ke alam remaja dan tak lama lagi 'dewasa' dan i mula sedar bahawa fashion itu tidak sama sekali ditegah ataupun dilarang dalam Islam.bahkan Islam suka akan kecantikan.tapi sayang ramai yang berpakaian mengikut dunia arus fashion tanpa mengikut garis panduan yang telah ditetapkan dalam Islam.ramai yang sudah berhijab.contohnya artis-artis tanah air,kawan-kawan kita.yea..mungkin kerana sudah mendapat hidayah dari Allah swt dan mungkin ada juga yang merasakan bahawa itu adalah satu trend masa kini.kalau kita dapat lihat sekarang shawl yang ada hujung dia tu berbesi lah,cotton shawl lah,pashmina lah,shawl yang berenda-renda lah.bagus! mereka amat kreatif.tapi sayang.sesetengah wanita tidak mengikut garis panduan yang telah ditetapkan dalam Islam.ada yang memakai shawl tetapi hanya menutup kepala sahaja.anda faham maksud saya? memanglah mungkin ada yang berpendapat tak bergaya lah kalau pakai baju labuh sikit,kena baju tangan panjang( bukan tiga suku),tudung tutup dada sikit and macam-macam.i pun terfikir macam tu.but i should redha and there must be reasons kenapa Allah kata tak boleh.

sekarang ni,whenever i want to buy clothes or to get dressed basically i made a number of rules which is at least has to be as i am a Muslim and to keep my modesty;

1)shawl/tudung untill cover my chest.
2) baju yang loose and long enough to cover my bum.
3) long and wide pants(prefer wide leg).as we all can see,sekarang trend pakai skinny jeans/legging.YES.i wish i could have them too but i always remember,'...to please Him'

sebenarnya kalau ikutkan berhijab tu maksud dia tutup.tutup aurat di mana tapak tangan dan muka hanya boleh dilihat.YA.i akui memang berat untuk wanita untuk tutup sepenuhnya termasuk i.terutamanya di bahagian kaki.pakai selipar atau kasut tetapi tidak berstokin.cuma satu hal jela untuk pergi studio malam-malam buta nanti takkan nak pakai kasut and kadang-kadang nak keluar tu tak menyempat nak cepat capai selipar je. *sigh.about stokin tu,memang mungkin nampak kelakar,tidak bergaya.tapi bagi i sebenarnya ada je design kasut yang cun,yang comel,yang smart yang menutupi kaki sepenuhnya.korang kena pandai-pandai mix and match lah dengan baju-baju korang kan..pakai boot ke.haa.pakai aje.biarlah orang nak kata bergaya gila ke apa.we dont dress to impress people but is to please Allah.

kadang-kadang i lupa i berhijab ini kerana siapa.untuk apa.i lupa kerana Allah.tu lah sebab kena sentiasa bermuhasabah diri.kita ni siapa? semua milik Allah.yea..He always gives what we want in fact sometimes we never realized it..so, why dont we give something back to Him kan? =)