guilty.

pernah rasa tak perasaan serba salah terhadap sesuatu?tak kisah lah sesuatu tu apa-apa pun.mesti tak suka kan kalau ada perasaan macam tu.hah..siapa suka?kadang-kadang i rasa i dah melampau.beli itu,beli ini tapi otak tak jalan mana.seperti hidup ini setakat hendak menghabiskan duit parents je belajar entah ke mana dan kemahuan diri sendiri itu tidak setanding dengan prestasi akademik.timbul rasa serba salah.melampau.abah ada cakap,kalau pointer setakat 3 3.1 3.2 je no use lah,nak kerja pun susah.bila dengar je abah cakap macam tu tiba-tiba rasa something had absorbed in myself.seolah-seolah macam kena push untuk belajar bersungguh-sungguh and thats the thing i ought to do now.no more shopping,procastinate and buat kerja sambil lewa dimana ada pepatah melayu juga ada mengatakan seperti 'melepaskan batok di tangga'.time is precious.masa tidak menunggu kita.

oh mama.

im back! (british accent) ;p
planning to go out to some places to shop.love mama! the best mama ever!

wheels.

wednesday classes as usual end at 10pm.went out for dinner,dinner? supper sudey and back to campus at 11.know what? went out at night without my parents around me broach a bit weird to me.janggal.even it is solely going out to have some dinner or supper.well some of you will lift your eyebrows and maybe it sounds lame.kot.whatever you may think,thats me and i dont like to wander during night especially without my parents around me untill now.it makes me uncomfortable.okay.enough with that.well computer graphic design class tadi ada je yang tak kena.if terlepas pandang apa yang lecturer ajar dekat depan whilst our eyes are also focusing to the screen of our computer which is the medium to apply back of what are the lecturer had teach us memang akan jadi blur.plus the class is held during late evening untill 10 pm.but the time doesnt matter with me i guess it just ive to be more alert and efficient.thats all.i had purchased chocolates at kiosk as i arrived mahalah and shovelled(the amount was beyond my expectation) it all untill it makes me wanted to puke.chocolates are like drug to me on that particular time.i dont know why or maybe i was a bit tension during the computer class just now and i suddenly remind of mama.nak nangis okay! HAH!! i miss mama and im going back this weekend.
again,i was suprised as one of my other friends had asked me like this. 'jannah,kenapa senyap je ni?mana jannah yang periang yang aku kenal ni?'
i was like, 'yeke?periang ke dulu?' (im creasing my forehead on that time okay.tanya dengan serious ni)
okayy..it seems like i didnt even realized with the changes in myself tho.theres a few factors not merely because of him but there are other reasons.maybe because of the environment itself with the ambience of a new place here and the challenges ive experienced previously.sorry if im not kinda periang anymore.im more comfortable this way instead.*wink
well i think i should stop here.im off to bed.

i want it that way.

ya Allah..im not strong enough.not strong enough to endure this life,im prone to keep in silent but intrisically i wasnt like that.sometimes i was trying to be someone.i thought i was okay but i failed to do so.i cant.i hope my friends especially in uia gombak understand me.its not because i feel embarrases (because got one of my friends asked me: 'jannah,kenapa kau senyap je?kau malu yea? *sebab masuk uia gombak lambat daripada diaorang) no.bukan macam tu.its because im seeking for tranquil,calm..i need time to recover,to forget all memories.you know what i mean.*sigh..'i wish i never know you nasir.' and the purpose of being in uia gombak is to focus in studies! i dont want to ruin my parents hope.be focus of what you are doing jannah!!! and i wish i will not fall in love and in pain at the end again.

p/s:im talking about the same guy since im started having a blog.

salaam maal hijrah

Salaam maal hijrah kepada muslimin dan muslimat sekalian.diharap sempena tahun baru islam ini kita dapat memantapkan lagi iman kita dan sentiasa berusaha untuk menjadi hamba yang mengabdikan diri hanya kepada Allah swt.

sama-samalah kita berjuang.

steal the moment.

First of all i would like to thanks to farha nabila for reading my blog for the first time.keep it up!hehe.
today is a little bit frail for me.
As im on my way to class suddenly rain plummeted on the earth.baju agak basah.my laptop and dslr bags with the handphone that im holding on that particular time were also wet.
today my class finished at 9pm (actually 10pm)having a photomedia class by learning how to be a professional photographer with the iso,shuttle speed and etc and computer graphic design 1,by learning how to use photoshop for the first time makes me crazy as the lecturers jumble up all and slammed it all into our brain.we edited our picture by ourselves which have been captured by our lecturer.santik sangat.haha.but i already forgot the steps okay.dang!looks like ive to practice it everyday.today is the first day i went back to mahalah at night from afternoon due to classes (around 11.30pm) and having a dinner plus supper and meet up some of my friends in studio.im walking wryly and slyly alone back to my mahalah while thinking of him. Mr.N. again.actually i still dont believe 'this' untill now.im slightly sad yet im okay as he's nothing to do with me and so i.*lifting my shoulder
well,its almost 3 am right now.ive to go bed worried if im late for subuh prayer!

slyly.

swapping stories with my roomates last night has made me know you more.i couldnt believe 'this'.no worth of thinking for it.i didnt blame you at all it just that you're like that.i cant do anything.just a big thank you for you.only you.

i have two classes after this.the weather is sooo hot.biasala dah kata malaysia.dah.dah.focus!